NCotB “Festivus for the Rest of Us” Convergence / Fancy Feast, Block Party, The Armory
5:15a.m. / Millard West High School / -8 degrees (feels like -31) / Wind NW 18 mph / Freezing
PAX (24): Fine Print, Gator, Lite-Brite, Barbershop, Thomas, Kickstand, Obi-Wan, Dr Thunder, Peg Leg, Boji, Steeple, Blades of Glory, Cheap Seats, Griswold, Tonight Show, Patchy Adams, Jump Street, Tea Party, Longneck, The Plague, Hard Hat, Slick, Ketchup, Kryptonite
CoQ: Fine Print, Gator, Lite-Brite
I arrived around 4:34 a.m. With the temperature a balmy -8 and an 18mph wind at my back, I moseyed towards the high school to set up. I did my best to locate areas that would block the wind, I’m not sure there was any way to avoid it completely. Halfway through setup the prerun group passed by so I moseyed over and greeted them. I ran with them for a short stint, once I made it to the opposite side of the high school, I peeled off to finish setup. Hard Hat joined me as I finished set up. It was 5:02 when we made it back to the shovel flag location and PAX started to roll in. Hard Hat brought his speaker strapped to a backpack, so I had the ability to Q and play mobile DJ. Once I was connected, we began to play Chrismas music. It was at this time Gator and Fine Print arrived at the shovel flags with the goods! Gator had the Festivus Pole in hand, the convergence was now officially underway.
Bringing the sites together was great, I saw a lot of faces I haven’t seen for a while as they have been posting at their regular Friday sites. Patchy Adams also made it all the way from Waterloo with the Nugent Flag!
When it was 5:15 a.m., the prerunners were not quite back when Tonight Show exclaimed “They’re on their way, let’s get this started. It’s FREEZING!” that’s not verbatim but it’s close and everyone was in agreeance. Gator placed the Festivus pole inside our circle and welcomed 24 PAX to F3, which stands for Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith.
The Q covered the mission statement of F3, our credo, and the following five core principles: We are:
1) Free of Charge
2) Open to All Men
3) Always Outside (nice echo from the PAX!)
4) Peer-Led in a Rotating Fashion (nice echo from Ozark!) and
5) Always End in a COT
No FNGs. Not a professional.
The Q then recited the Story of Festivus: (also available here)
Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had – but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way! While the doll was destroyed, a new holiday was born. “A Festivus for the rest of us!”
Much like F3, Festivus has 5 core principles:
(1) There must be a six-foot metal Festivus pole. There is no tree. The pole requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.
(2) The celebration always begins with The Airing of Grievances.
(3) There is always a Festivus Meal.
(4) Festivus is not over until someone wins the Feats of Strength.
(5) And there is always a Festivus Miracle.
We would also do some burpee trivia: correct answers result in Bobby Hurley’s, while incorrect answers would cause us to do Burpees. In honor of the 9 glorious seasons of Seinfeld, we would do 9 reps.
Then we moseyed toward the High School in attempt to get out of the wind and being a series of The Airing of Grievance stations…
The Airing of Grievances – Coupon Station
Fine Print took the reins and kicked things off by calling on our bother Tonight Show asking which Coupon exercise was his least favorite.
Tonight Show has a lot of problems with:
Thrusters x 15
Kryptonite has a lot of problems with:
Blockies x 10
Slick has a lot of problems with:
Coupon Swings x 15
Once those 3 exercises were complete, I gathered Hard Hat’s speaker backpack as the PAX left their Coupons and moseyed to the next station…
The Airing of Grievances – Core Station
I took the lead on the core station. Looking around the group I could tell Hard Hat was itching to roll around in the snow, so I called on him to let us know which core exercise he loathes the most. He called out Sweat Angels…
Hard Hat has a lot of problems with:
Sweat Angels x 10 (and the PAX made continued to make 10 reps worth of snow angels and loved every second)
Patchy Adams has a lot of problems with:
Oh Yeah’s x 10 (Something about making up for coming up short the evening before)
Peg Leg has a lot of problems with:
Gas Pumpers x 10
The PAX had powered through the 3rd and final core exercise now it was time to mosey to the last Airing of Grievances station…
The Airing of Grievances – Lower Body Station
FP once again showed his willingness to lead and took charge of the lower body station.
Barbershop has a lot of problems with:
Hydraulic Squats x 10
Cheap Seats has a lot of problems with:
Alternating Lunges x 10
The Plague has a lot of problems with:
Jump Tucks x 10
At this point we had found a great wind block and decided to forgo moseying to the 4th station. We stayed put and Gator busted out some Festivus and New Kids on the Block triva…
Q#1: What was Elaine trying to get the rewards card she accidentally gave to denim vest guy?
Festivus aficionado Boji got it!
A: a free sub
Q#2: name one if the two former members of NKOTB?
Griswold had the Right Stuff on this one baby!
A: Mark Wahlberg
Q#3: What was Kramer and his fellow bagel shop co-workers protesting for 12 years?
Hard Hat was finally thawed out from Qing yesterday at Labyrinth and gave the correct answer!
A: Higher wages.
After each of the triva answers was answered correctly we set up for The Festivus Meal…
THE FESTIVUS MEAL
One member from each group would run to the Festivus pole and do 3 burpees. The rest of the group would perform the following AMRAP exercises until the PAX returned to push the group to the next exercise on the list:
SIDE STRADDLE HOPS
We had chipped away at the list and at 5:45 a.m. Gator called Omaha! The PAX moseyed back to the shovel flags picking our Coupons up along the way. It was time for…
Feats of Strength
– The feats of strength featured Lite Brite showing mercy to Gator by declining to knock him down
– 2021 FOS Champ Ketchup successfully knocked out Hard Hat, only to be sucker-pushed by Fine Print
– Gator took a page out of Armbar’s book and tried to hook up Tonight Show’s leg. This was unsuccessful as Griswold knocked them both out at the same time
– It was down to two Beasts: Tea Party and Griswold. It was a battle for the ages. But only one man would emerge victorious. On this the 23rd day of December in the year of our Lord 2022, that man was: Griswold! (Yes, I am serious Clark).
First, on behalf of the Armory and Fancy Feast, BlockParty, Light Bright, Gator and Yodel, I just want to thank you all for being here this morning.
Look at the men standing around this circle today.
What I love about this group is that
On your day off
You decided to get out of your warm bed
And stop being the little spoon next to your M
And come out here in -34 degree temperatures
To spend time in the gloom together
None of the men in this circle made those decisions for himself
You do it for each other
I love that.
We talk a lot about accelerating
You hear that word a lot
Accelerating is great and we should all be looking to accelerate always in all ways.
But as we approach the holidays and the end of 2022
Give yourself the grace and space to pause and to look back and reflect.
Think about all you’ve accomplished this past year
The relationships you’ve built in the gloom
Establish some goals and a plan for 2023
Fill out the 8-Block
Pick one guy who’s been in F3 longer than you and one who’s joined after you and get to know them.
Ask for help, seek guidance from the wisdom of this group. It’s a powerful thing. Most guys out there don’t have access to a braintrust like this. Use it!
Thank you for being you and being here today. The energy and momentum you create each morning to go and tackle the day is incredible. You are the brothers I get to choose and I love you all. Merry Christmas!