April, 9, 2019//Stinson Park//AO- Cornhusker Handicap//50 degrees //
Pax: Samsonite (FNG!—Dan Swanson), Brazilian, Cyclone (Respect!), Flipper, Ponzi, No Doze, OMT, Khakis (Respect!), Waffle House (Respect!), Walk On, Safe Ride, Selleck, Saul, Wide Right, Sour Dough, Polaroid, Big One, Tator Tot, Folsom, 19 Strong!
Q: Folsom
The PAX gathered ‘round the ShovelFlags of Heavy Metal. Folsom welcomed the FNG, fully gave the mission statement and the disclaimer, forgot to say what F3 stands for, but with a little help from Tator Tot, was able to say we were gathered for Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith. The PAX moseyed around the track and then circled up under the shadow of the giant penis for Warm O’Rama.
Warm O’ Rama
Side Straddle Hops ICx20
Don Quixote’s ICx12
Side Lunges ICx12
Hill Billy Squats ICx12
Shoulder Taps, ICx20
Tempo Merkins, ICx10
After Warm O’ Rama, Folsom explained that today’s beatdown is dedicated to National Child Abuse Awareness month, so rather than a bunch of painful exercises to test our strength and endurance, the PAX would get a series of “fun” games to play.
Game 1: Freeze Tag!
Just like the classic children’s game, Folsom “randomly” picked the 3 fastest people to be it, while the rest of the PAX became the hunted. Now, we are all adults, accept maybe Flipper, and this IS F3, so rather than “freeze” when tagged, the PAX will assume the people’s chair and perform cherry pickers until unfrozen by a teammate. Again, we can’t just tag someone to unfreeze them, no, we have to dive between there people’s chair. We played this game for 2 minutes, when the PAX made an executive decision that 3 wasn’t enough people “it”, so we made 6 new people it and played for another 2 minutes. A good time and a good workout were had by all!
Competition 1: Pull Ups!
Folsom explained that one of the things kids really focus on is who is the best at something. Folsom is constantly asked by his son who is the best at this or that. (Who was the best basketball player ever? Michael Jordan. Who’s the tallest person you ever met? Manute Bol’s cousin played for a team I faced in college and was over 7 feet tall. It goes on and on.) So today we are going to find out who among the PAX is the best at certain exercises. First up, the Pull Up! The PAX was 19 deep today, so we had to go at it in two heats. The first and second heats, did as many as they could then dropped back into the People’s Chair and cherry picked while cheering on the rest of the guys. The winner: OMT narrowly beat out Brazilian with 32!
Game 2: The Burpee Relays!
What kid doesn’t love a good foot race? Of course, Folsom had to F3 it up a notch and toss in some burpees at each hand off. Here’s how it went: The PAX were divided into relay teams of four, each team sent a member to the four exchange zones around the horse track. One team only had 3 runners, but hey, extra running is the best! The first man on each team, upon hearing the starting call, performed 5 burpees then sprinted towards the exchange zone. Once they passed the baton (slapped five), their teammate performed 5 burpees and ran to the next exchange zone. The PAX couldn’t just relax if they weren’t doing burpees or sprinting, so they got into high plank until tagged by a runner from the next group, starting their burpees and sprint to the next exchange. Now this left the original starting spot empty which meant that runner in the 4th position got a double long run to the second position. Don’t worry though, because this process continued around the track until the first runner sprinted past his original starting spot and crossed the “finish line” at the second position.
Competition 2: Merkins!
You guessed it! The PAX circled up and began Merkins, as each person dropped out of the competition they took the people’s chair and cherry picked while cheering on the remaining competitors. The winner: Tator Tot, barely out muscling OMT, with reps somewhere in the 60’s!
Game 3: Football toss!
Hey, it’s spring game season! Kids love to toss the old pig skin around. For the F3 version the PAX were divided into two teams, one lead by the Merkin champ, Tator Tot, the other by the pull up champ, OMT. Merkin champ tossed the football as far as he could. Team Pull Ups sprinted to the ball, did 10 burpees and sprinted back. While that was going on, team Merkins performed the People’s Chair, and cherry picked. The teams then switched and Big One made it a pitcher’s duel, took the football and tossed it hella far.
Final Competition: American Hammers!
Did No Doze repeat as champion? Will a new man be crowned “strongest abs”? Keep reading to find out. Once a man dropped out, he could just stand, that was enough People’s Chair, and cheer on the remaining competitors. The winner: Ponzi, did 102 Hammers, beating No Doze by the slimmest of margins, 1!
Mumblechatter: Overheard while playing freeze tag, “This is a lot of fun!” It was too.
Announcements: Selleck and Wide Right are ambassadors for Mustache for Kids and invite all of HIM’s to join them this year. Reach out to them for more information. This Saturday at The Oracle, the F3 Kansas City Nant’an will be live and in person to enjoy a brief return to freezing temps and a great beatdown and hopefully learn some good stuff. There will be a ShovelFlag presentation after the beatdown. Don’t miss it!
COT: Today’s topic was Child Abuse. Folsom tweeted these sobering statistics out: A report of child abuse is made every 10 seconds in this great country; 1 out 4 girls and 1 out 6 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 18. Odds are it will happen to someone we know. A majority of abuse is perpetrated by someone the child knows well. Family members are far more likely to be responsible for abuse than the stranger in the van we are all afraid of. So how do we join Project Harmony in their fight to end child abuse? Go to their website to find out more, http://www.ProjectHarmony.com You can do something as simple as make a donation, they take money and certain items for the children they serve. You can also volunteer or join their service league. You can join the fight by educating your children. No one wants to talk about child abuse, especially child sex abuse, but we have to. We need to be men and leaders and take an uncomfortable, but important topic head on and address it with our children and families and friends. You, as a parent, need to include talking about sex abuse with your children in your safety talks. You need to begin these talks as soon as they are learning names for things. Toes, fingers, penis, they are all just body parts. These talks need to continue and evolve until they are adults. Teach them the names of their body parts, it makes it easier for them to report abuse and talk about those parts in general. Tell them what parts of their body are private parts. You need to tell them that no one is allowed to touch their privates but mom and dad when they are helping and the doctor when mom and/or dad are present. Let them know it’s ok for them to tell adults or kids “no.” So many children are compliant in their abuse because they are taught to be obedient to adults. Support them when they do say no regarding their bodies, even if they say no to Aunt Hellen when she wants a hug. Kids don’t understand all the exceptions to rules until they are adults. Let them know that they can share anything with you, regardless of if it’s embarrassing, or if they have promised to keep it a secret. Tell them they won’t get in trouble for sharing with you. Predators, use children’s obedience, and desire to keep their secrets to their advantage. Kids that are abused don’t often report it immediately. They may give hints that go missed; they may not even know it was wrong until they have a lesson about good touch, bad touch. If your child says they don’t like Uncle Kenny, you need to find out why. Kids tend to disclose a small percentage of the actual extent of the abuse. If your child reports something inappropriate about an adult, take it seriously, don’t dismiss your child or the behavior of the adult. Listen, remind them they can tell you anything, and contact the authorities if you are concerned. A child will reveal more information to a trained forensic interviewer. Law enforcement does take these reports seriously. WE can fight child abuse by teaching our children to refuse to be victims! I have found that all victims of abuse who grow up to be successful adults credit someone in their lives telling them that they have value, that they will be someone, and that they deserve better. Be that person in a child’s life. Volunteer, be a mentor, a Teammate, just be a good example of how to act for your children and the children around you. Be Someone!
Aye- Folsom