The Creepy Tree Hugger Beatdown
Saturday, May 7th, 2022 – The Pit – Papillion, NE – 6:00 a.m.
PAX: Gipper, Feeney, Low Flow, Icy Hot, Schrute, Trench, Chernobyl, Tony the Tiger, Zebra Cakes
QIC: Duracell
While planning this workout, I thought it would be challenging & it exceeded that expectation – it was pretty brutal.
6:00 a.m. – 55 Degrees, 10 mph breeze… Beautiful morning!
The PAX gathered at the shovel flag. Duracell covered the F3 Mission Statement: To plant, grow, & serve the invigoration of male community leadership through small workout groups. The Credo was recited: We leave no man behind & no man where we found him. Duracell stated the 5 core principles: Always outside, open to all men, always free, led in a rotating fashion, & ends in a COT and advised the PAX that he is not professional & to modify as needed.
Warmarma: We mosied ¼ mile for warmarama: 10 side straddle hops, 10 sun gods, 10 reverse sun gods, 10 tappy taps, 5 Deconstructed Burpees (We broke a burpee down into the 3 separate movements: 5 Merkins, 5 Merkins + hip thrust, then 5 full burpees.)
Creepy Corner Pre Thang: Pax mosied an additional ¼ mile to the main intersection downtown. We counted off into 4 groups & had 3-4 man teams on each of the 4 street corners for creepy corner. We completed 6 exercises as a group:
1st Exercise: 20 Oh Yeahs (left hand down, right hand reach for the sky, lower your 6 & thrust it skyward). It’s actually a great core exercise that also incorporates triceps & shoulders when performed correctly – also arguably the creepiest F3 exercise for a creepy corner mission. We immediately hit pay dirt with the first car that stopped at the stoplight. Two retirement aged women immediately gave us a look that could be interpreted as either complete confusion or disgust & probably wondering why 3-4 guys were all doing this on each of the 4 corners. “The look” lasted for roughly one minute until their light turned green. Mission accomplished!
2nd Exercise: Switched sides for 20 additional Oh Yeahs – now complicated by the fact that most of us were now giggling like 7th grade girls due to passerby reaction – but the laughter provided an additional core challenge, so we’re making progress.
3rd Exercise: 40 Monkey Humpers (chosen for Creepy Corner because of the overly creepy name.) We squatted down & placed our hands around the back of our legs & onto our heels & performed 40 squats – a real quad burner for higher reps. Our man Chernobyl audibled for the last 10 “red bull” style at double pace, providing extra burn.
4th Exercise: 20 Copperhead Squats in Cadence – essentially a squat, but you break it into 3 distinct movements on the way down to quads being parallel to the ground.
5th Exercise: Held boat pose for 1 minute. (I like to sneak in a yoga move without telling anyone that they’re doing yoga – call it a guilty pleasure.) We sat on our 6, extended both the arms & legs outward 45 degrees & held for 1 minute.
6th & Final Creepy Corner Exercise: We revisited the Deconstructed Burpees & performed 10 to raise our heart rates prior to moving onto the next station in the AO.
The Thang: The Tree Hugger We mosied 100 yards to the park, which is graced by numerous mature trees with wide trunks that we would use as walls for resistance training. The trees were wide enough that 2 PAX typically shared 1 tree trunk. This portion was a total of 16 exercises, broken into 4 sets, each containing 1 minute of resistance training for: Upper Body, Lower Body, Core, & Cardio (which was always bear crawls of roughly 40 yards.)
1st Set: Upper = Dirty Hookups (introduced to me by Corn Pirate of F3 North Carolina) assume a merkin position in front of a tree trunk, place one hand on the tree, followed by the other hand to achieve a plank while balancing on the tree – repeat process for one minute. Lower = Wall squat with back on tree. Core = Tree Plank: On elbows, feet on tree, lift core off ground & hold. Cardio = Bear crawl 40 yards.
2nd Set: Upper = Wall Walk, similar to Balls to the Wall, face away from the tree with feet at the base, walk feet up tree until vertical, then walk your hands back out to parallel to the ground, repeat for 1 min. Lower = 1 Legged Wall Squats, place back on tree & lift one foot off ground, switching every 10 seconds. Core = Side Planks on Tree, left foot on top, place both feet on the tree & right elbow on the ground, lift core off ground for a side plank targeting obliques. Cardio = Bear crawl 40 yards.
3rd Set: Upper = Chicken Peckers, balls to the wall while doing alternating shoulder taps for 1 min. Lower = Bulgarian Squat with left foot on tree, right foot out in a lunge position & lunge up & down for 1 min. Core = Side Planks on Tree, right foot on top, place both feet on the tree & left elbow on the ground, lift core off ground for a side plank targeting obliques. Cardio = Bear crawl 40 yards.
4th Set: Upper = Balls to the Wall 1 min. Lower = Bulgarian Squat with right foot on tree, left foot out in a lunge position & lunge up & down for 1 min. Core = Lie down in a crunch position with both feet on tree, raise your core so only your shoulders are on the ground, lift one foot off tree towards your chest & alternate for 1 minute. Cardio = Bear crawl 40 yards.
MERRY-GO-ROUND-MERKINS Before leaving the park, we had one more exercise. With 11 PAX, we broke up into 2 groups. The first group spread out evenly for Derkins on the Merry Go Round, with our feet on the playset & hands on the ground. We performed one merkin as a group & then everyone used their hands to step one step to the left & repeated for 20 reps. (The 2nd group performed AMRAP Bonnie Blairs.) The groups then switched positions. Each group repeated the exercise with 20 more reps & stepping with our hands to the right, while the 2ndgroup performed AMRAP Bonnie Blairs. **This exercise proved much more difficult than expected. It’s actually easier to do it by yourself because if you’re not all stepping to the side with your hands at the exact same time, that merry-go-round isn’t going anywhere!
Time to mosie back to the shovel flags, roughly .5 miles.
PIT STOP: We stopped half way back to the flags to keep the group together & borrow some picnic tables for resistance training. We performed 3 exercises: 1) 1 Minute of Elevator Derkins: Place your feet on the bench & 3 different floors were called out, top middle & bottom, for static merkin holds for a total of 1 minute with top floor being arms fully extended & bottom being chest just off the ground. 2) 25 Dips on bench. 3) 25 Squats with 6 barely touching the bench at the bottom. Finally mosied back to the shovel flags.
MARY WRAP-UP: We finished in a circle with American Hammers & each PAX counting to 3 until we completed the circle.
Announcements & Prayers: Prayer Request for Chernobyl’s M, Kelsey, receiving spinal fusion surgery hopefully next Wednesday. Reminder for the F3 Brickbuilder Scholarship Fundraiser on 5/21 to raise money for 2 deserving young men. *The Pit will be closed for business on 5/21 so our PAX can attend Brickbuilder.
COT: The COT was 1st F based & challenged the PAX to set a B.H.A.G…. a Big, Hairy, A$$, Goal. A BHAG, in the business world, is basically your stretch goal. If your goal is X, your BHAG is 2X, etc. PAX were challenged to find something they’re passionate about, pick a goal that seems out of reach at first & then make a detailed plan about how to achieve it. The most important part is convincing yourself that YOU WILL do it & dedicating yourself to every little detail that will make your BHAG achievable. Finally, determining what’s motivating to you: Is it accountability partners, the people that believe in you and say you can, or even the people that don’t believe in you and say that you can’t. Find your motivation & use that to push yourself to the mental victory of achieving your BHAG. I find it to be life changing.
AYE!
Duracell