2022.11.14 – Coronado – Bud “Light” Beatdown – Gator & Ozark
AO – Coronado – Friday 0530
PAX: 25 – Patton (Respect), Canadian Bacon (Respect, Respect), Bogi, Boji (yeah that’s right, standing next to each other), Despop, Caruso (Respect, Respect), Snow Man, Predator, Woody (Respect), Doppler, Hey Hey, The Fridge, Cheap Seats, Barn Door, Sister Act, Mufasa, Super Fly, Tea Party (IPA), Smelly Cat, The Plague, Mulligan (Respect), Bobsled, Steeple, and…
Your Qs – Gator and Ozark (YHC, Respect)
A beautifully clear, 32-degree, light humidity morning with a slight, northerly breeze. Upon arrival at Aldrich, YHC and Gator encounters The Fridge finishing up his pre-run on this fine morning. Smelly Cat strolls in later as stray cats do, representing his first pre-run. Good on ya Smelly Cat!!! After unloading coupons, Gator began set-up at the field behind the school. Other pre-runners and Smurphers amble by. The PAX begin assembling with mumble chatter.
More PAX trickle in, chat amidst very, very limited, light stretching (possibly only YHC on the stretch). At 5:30, Gator welcomes the PAX explaining that the upcoming beatdown will be a light impact one and which will assign each PAX with 2 others (i.e. – their buddies for the morning), thus a “Bud “Light”” workout. Then Gator covers the mission statement, core principles, and disclaimer. However, back-ground grumbling proves distracting to Gator. Turns out YHC periodically mutters “Bud”. Wait, what else is that? Uh, Site Q, Patton, mutters “weis” over and over. And then Boji jumps in with an “er” now and again. Weird. “Bud” “weis” “er” Huh… Anyway, no FNGs. No one to name Ribbit today.
We remain on the basketball court for Warm-A-Rama. While trying not to interrupt happy mumble chatter, Gator and Ozark alternate leading cadence. When called upon, Gator and Ozark each reply with a spirited “Whaaaassssuuuppp?!?!?!?” (Also, weird)
Modified Tappy Taps. Which include no Tapping and nor are you on your feet. So…not Tappy Taps at all, really. Instead, Runner Stretch (On one knee, other leg extended in front, forehead to extended knee, slow 10 Count, then switch legs);
Pigeon on each leg for 10 count;
On your feet, heels together for a deep squat into a groin stretch by placing hands on the ground, elbows on the inside of the knees and a firm push outward;
Then 20 Merkins.
Count off in 3s. Each group grabs one coupon, then we mosey to the front of the school. Gator yells “YO! DOOKIE!!! PICK UP THE PHONE!!!” Time for Dookie Dips and Dookie Derkins!
Gator leads with 10 reps each of the following Dips;
Legs at 90 degrees;
Right leg lifted;
Left leg lifted;
Legs fully extended with Heels to Pavement(TM Pending)
Ozark leads with 20 Dookie Derkins
Repeat the Dookie up/downs for 2 sets total.
PAX mosey to the hill behind the school with one coupon per group.
Thang – Coupon Good for Free Beer Yesterday / Beer Crawl / 99 Bottle of Beer on the Wall
First of three buddies is at the bottom of the hill performing coupon AMRAPs. Second buddy is the push and will bear crawl up the hill. Third buddy enjoys wall exercises at the top of the hill. Once second buddy arrives, third buddy is thus relieved, and proceeds to crawl bear down the hill to push first buddy up the hill.
i.e. – Coupon, Crawl, Wall, Crawl, Coupon WHAAASSSUUUPPP?!?!?!?
COUPONS GOOD FOR FREE BEER YESTERDAY
AMRAP UNTIL PUSHED
CURLS FOR THE GIRLS
JOHNNY DRAMAS – calf raises while holding or standing on coupon
KETTLE BELL SWINGS
TRAVELING MERKINS – alternate right hand, two hands, left hand on coupon
CUSACK – stand with coupon over your head and sing “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel
99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL
(PAX chooses one of the two for each round, i.e. – modify as necessary)
AUSTRALIAN MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS x 9 IC
MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS x 9 IC
CHICKEN PECKERS x 9 IC
ALTERNATING SHOULDER TAPS x 9 IC
DONKEY KICKS x 9
SUMO SQUATS x 9 IC
RINSE AND REPEAT UNTIL PUSHED
Some PAX made it to CUSACK Coupons whereby the others were able to enjoy rousing renditions of Peter Gabriel’s classic, In Your Eyes. Especially Cheap Seats (What’s the score?!?!?) and Mufasa (“roar”). After ample rounds completed, Ozark calls out “YO, DOOKIE!!! OMAHA!!!”
Of note, mumblechatter is prolific throughout, including the debate between Hey Hey, et al re: the title of the Bud “Light” radio ad campaigns from the late 90’s to early 2000’s. Was it Real American Hero, per Gator, or Real Men of Genius, per Hey Hey? Turns out both are correct. The name changed post 9/11. Genius. (“Good on ya, PAX who overrode the Q and calls Omaha early. You can buddy up next to me anytime.”)
PAX mosey back to the basketball court with the coupons and circle for Mary near the shovel flags. Ozark poses the only trivia question for the day, “What’s that nickname they have for Budweiser?” Site Q, Patton, all over that one, “The King of Beers!” “Oh, so that makes Bud Light the Queen Service of Beers?” Groans galore. Gator responds, “True. True…”.
Speaking of Real American Heroes, let’s call Captain Thor out of his slumber. Ozark calls for Captain Thor and explains sequencing. 4 Big Boys (Sit ups? No?) followed by 1 American Hammer, then increasing by 4 and 1 each set. Very heroic indeed.
5 rounds of Captain Thor finish the Bud “Light” Beatdown. Thank you, Thor.
The PAX counts off, then name-o-rama. After Gator and Ozark finish with a hearty WHAAASSSUUUPPP?!?!?!?, we move on.
Announcements – VQ at Top Rope – Kryptonite (love that song), VQ Bobsled at Oscar Mike, January impact retreat with details on 3rd F Channel of Slack. Patton announces T-Claps to some PAX who are literally accelerating. Nemo, Honkey Tonk, Squirt, and Christof all ran and placed at the Nike Cross Regionals/ Heartland Open Invitational on Sunday in Sioux Falls which included 318 runners. Tea Party mentions that his brother, Jump Street, informed him that, though this is already long been on the coasts, Omaha police just found fentanyl laced in some M&M look alike candy this weekend because a woman died after consuming it. Please inform your children and friends of this. This issue is real.
Prayers: Mulligan asks for a co-worker of his, Tim, for his health. Heart surgery brought on 3 strokes recently. Fridge asks for prayers for a friend. Patton for a young man that passed away in Nemo’s class at Elkhorn North HS. For Poseidon and his M as they battle for custody of her kids.
Gator starts by telling the PAX how unique this site is with, not only its low impact beatdowns (Light), but that the workouts are done so with a buddy (or two) assigns throughout (Bud). Gator went on to tell his early story of F3 which he enjoyed meeting people but had not really befriended any just yet. Quarantine-while, he asked his neighbor down the street, we’ll call him “Tim” to join F3, which was a Heisman-like pose of no. Instead Tim asked Gator to golf, which Gator didn’t do and which Mufasa can attest, Gator isn’t very good at. (Mufasa rudely opines that this Tim (a.k.a. – Ozark) must not be any good either (Jerk…). Mufasa/Jerk was corrected, it’s because Tim is nice, something Jerks just don’t understand. Oh, and the Jerk Store called, Mufasa, and they’re out of YOU!!!) Over time, Tim did join F3 and transformed into Ozark (not a jerk) which deepened Gator’s friendship with him into what it is today, that of a big brother (Gator exclaims, “I love you man!”, which is also a 1995 Bud Light ad campaign).
So, there’s that. Ozark, teary eyed (mostly from nearly driven mad from Mufasa’s ubiquitous, ne’er do well commentary (Yeah, google THAT phrase Mufasa!!!)), goes on to explain that F3 can find and provide you with deeper friendships that you likely currently possess. While certainly Gator (when he was known as “Mike”) and Ozark (when known as “Tim”) were… “friends” via drive-way beers and a few laughs, they weren’t the brothers that F3 facilitates they are today. Ozark urges the PAX to find a way to plug in and to seek that deeper fellowship. He describes those pre-runs with Vandelay early in his posting days and how, believe it or not, Vandelay did most of the talking since Ozark couldn’t breathe. But Vandelay’s patience led to Ozark running and fitness gains and now provides Ozark with another good friendship he wouldn’t otherwise possess. So, find your channel towards that friendship. Even if you must tolerate Mufasa’s sass in order to play golf with others, the trade-off is worth it (probably, not yet proven out). You’ll find someone else who is far less insulting. And who is not named Doppler.
Gator took us out in prayer.
Coffee at the Karma w/ Redwings PAX in attendance. YHC dressed for the occasion in his Budweiser sportscoat (Union made).
Shalom Out – Ozark