Top Gun: The Sequel

Wednesday, August 3, 2022 | Danger Zone | Papillion South High School

88 degrees, a record high in Omaha at 5 am, light breeze, sticky AF

PAX- Tater Tot, Clubhouse, Wait Time, Crankbait, Animal House, Girldad, Pitstop, G-String, Skidz, Strangle Hold, Khakis, Shrute, Levee, Chernobyl, Belding, Mr. Hanky, Ethanbreous, Motown, Baby Shark, Rooney, Sweet Roll, Tony the Tiger, Echo, Farva, Slow Pitch

Q: Roadhouse

The Godfather 2. The Empire Strikes Back. Toy Story 2. That’s it! That is the list of sequels that were as good or better than the original movie. A short list. An elite list. And a list that I thought about as I laid in bed unable to sleep before my sequel at the Danger Zone.

But there was another list that kept creeping into my thoughts as well. Caddyshack 2. Teenwolf 2. And of course, Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo. These absolute nightmares haunted my thoughts as I prepared for my second act at Papillion South.

My first Q at the Danger Zone was a blast! We had a great workout, got pretty weird and had so much fun! Could we recreate it? Could we duplicate it? Could lightning strike twice? Well, when I looked at the forecast, the chances of lightning were actually pretty good…

I hardly slept and watched the time tick by minute by minute. I eventually got out of bed at 4:15 AM. I had laid out my clothes the night before and I was excited to don my gear for this day in particular.

It started with the jeans, the star of the outfit. I shimmied into those tight denims and felt them hug me in the all the right places. God that felt good. Then came the tank top. White and tight. Then the leopard button up, obviously unbuttoned and alarmingly small. I took a long look in the mirror and took it all in. The look crescendo’d with a fresh moustache sitting atop my lip. I was ready!  

The drive to the Danger Zone is a long one for me but also peaceful at that time in the morning. On the drive, my thermostat in the car showed a thick 88 degrees. At 4:45… I would later learn that this set a record for heat at that time in Omaha. A perfect day to wear jeans… IDIOT!

I pulled into the lot to find a handful of cars and a few shovel flags planted in the earth. I got out of the car and waited for the crowd to arrive. G String was the first. We had never met before and he hesitantly walked towards me. “Hey man, are we going to be working out in the high grass this morning… what’s with the jeans?” A valid question. I chuckled and said, “No man, I just like to wear jeans to the workouts.” And with that, we were friends.

Slowly, more cars pulled in and the men started to gather. I love coming south to Sarpy and feeling this brotherhood. The guys always welcome me with open arms and open minds. By 5:15, there were 25 of us. 4 of us had on jeans! Two had on jean shorts and one of those didn’t even know about the denim theme. He just wore jean shorts. Fuck yeah…

I stumbled through the F3 intro. Let people know who I was and nailed the five core principles. In hindsight I forgot the mission statement, and in front of the former and current Nantan and the weasel shaker. God dammit. My bad guys…

We moseyed down the to the field and circled up around the 50-yard line for warm-a-rama.

WARM-A-RAMA.

SSH’s

Big Ones 10 count

Cherry Pickers 15 IC

Imperial Walkers 15 IC

Goofballs 10 each

At this point the jeans were starting to constrict. The humidity along with the exercises were causing them to tighten in all the wrong places. I had the PAX do a lap around the track to try and loosen up the jeans and then we lined up along the wall on the west side of the football field. It was time for some wall work.

THE PRE-THANG:

10 Donkey kicks

10 chicken peckers

10 Australian mt climbers

10 count Balls to the Wall

After one set, we jogged across the field and back and did one more set of wall work. My shoulders were gassed and I was starting to develop a “nutpuddle” in the jeans. But it was time for the Thang!

THE THANG:

We’re going to do a 3-man tag team grinder today.

2 stations: Goaline and the  50 yard line

Station 1

Some form of a Merkin AMRAP

Station 2:

Some core exercise AMRAP

The third man will do cornerback runs (25 yards backwards and then turn and sprint last 25 yards) between stations

We broke into groups of three and got to work.

This may have been the most fun I have ever had during an F3 workout. The mumblechatter was as good as I have heard before and the freedom on the Merkins and Core exercises led to some creativity the likes this man has never seen. We were making up exercises as we went and as we got more tired and delirious, the exercises got weirder and weirder. My favorite was the Chuck Norris Hand Release Merkins which was accompanied with a new cadence of “Fist, Dick, Fist,Dick”. It made sense at the time.

I was next to Slow Pitch for the majority of the workout which led to some of the most inappropriate chatter in the history of F3 nation. The best exercise of the morning was the laughter we shared at each station. Tater tot and Girldad joined in along with Skidz and Farva. We were just having a great fucking time and did a workout along the way.

Eventually, Omaha was called and we circled back around the 50 yard line. The rain had started a bit and we knocked out a few last exercises.

MARY:

Starfish Crunches 15

Sarpy Slammers – Rancid Style 26

And with that we were done. The sequel was over and I don’t want to sound blasphemous but I think it was as good, if not better than the original. It was quite simply a fucking blast in the gloom!

Name-a-rama was smooth and we moved to announcements and prayers.

Announcements:

Lots of Shovel Flag Passes the next two weeks. Go support the new Qs but also honor the outgoing leaders!

Blood Drive – August 26th. Sign up and Save some lives

Prayers:

New babies on the way

Other babies needing prayers

Let’s pray for the good things as well!

Top Gun Award:

Animal House gave Roadhouse a Top Gun award for Qing (which came as a surprise to everyone after that beatdown)

Then Roadhouse gave the Top Gun Award to Crankbait. That kid never stopped moving today and is accelerating at an incredible pace. Great job brother!

COT:

I want to talk a little bit this morning about my dad. My dad is my hero and my singular goal in my life has always been to make him proud of me.

My dad always believed that he would die young. His dad died at 47 and he was quite sure we would see a similar fate.. Well, 47 came and went and on Monday he turned 70 years old.

I had dinner with him Monday night and I asked him how it felt to blow past his expectations. He said to me, pretty good 23 bonus years. I laughed and then thought about that later that night. Imagine seeing everyday you have as a bonus day, as gravy, as extra. Do you think you would show up differently? Prioritize things differently? Do things differently?

I get really caught up in the hardness of life, the messiness, and it pulls me down. But what if I was just happy to be here and looked through a lens of gratitude every day? Fuck me, that would look differently…

The one other thing about my dad that I wanted to share was the single piece of advice that he has shared with me for 43 years now and it was always simple and clear. Treat people the right way. Treat people the right way. Man, to me that just sums up how we should be every day. As my dear friend slow pitch says, Be Kind. Its not hard and it can make a tremendous impact on someone and on you.

So, reflect on those two things- being grateful for everyday and treating people the right way. Two pretty simple lessons that can change your life.

I love you guys,

Roadhouse

Chernobyl took us out in Prayer

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