Pax: Mufasa, Ozark, Blades of Glory, Obi Wan, Ketchup, Barn Door, Nelly, Escobar, Patchy Adams, Gator, Cheap Seats, Fine Print

SubstiQ: Fine Print for Sasquash

Conditions: Cold AF, 0 degrees, windchill of -18 degrees, NW wind 14mph

YHC arrived early to unload some half-price coupons, or as Escobar refers to them “Groupons,” by the grassy hill. Across the field, I saw a few cars start to trickle into the parking lot as the prerunners began to arrive. Present for the prerun were: Barn Door, Blades, Ozark, Gator, Escobar, Obi Wan and Fine Print.

At 05:30, YHC welcomed 12 HIM to the Maize.  The mission statement, core principles, and a special fine print disclaimer was issued: 

Disclaimer: I am not a professional. You have opted to participate today upon your sole discretion. Any of the subsequent activities you partake in shall be performed at your sole risk. You assume all liability for any damages whatsoever resulting to your person or any property. You hereby indemnify the Q, the Site Q, the Nantan, and the F3 Omaha foundation, and fully release forever into perpetuity
the foregoing parties from any and all claims, liabilities, costs, damages, expenses, whether known or unknown, so help you God.

YHC informed the PAX that January 6th is National Cuddle Up Day, and gave the PAX a word to think about during the workout which is a synonym of cuddle. I reminded Mufasa that a “synonym” is “a word that means the same thing as another word.” The word of the day was “EMBRACE”. The PAX were eager to embrace the gloom, embrace the beatdown and most importantly embrace each other. 
No FNGs were present so we moseyed aimlessly around the neighborhood and the PAX were called upon for Warm-o-rama exercises. Sasquash was scheduled to Q but he was feeling under the weather thus YHC was the substiQ. The PAX decided to end Warm-o-rama by paying Sasquash a visit and enjoying some monkey humpers in his driveway. We saw someone looking at us out the window and then the light shut off so we ran away.


The PAX moseyed over by the fire station for the Pre-Thang. We partnered up and the partner pairs took turns running to the top of Atlas Street. When not running each partner did AMRAP burpees and then air squats. We only got through two rounds and it was time to head over to the grassy hill for the Thang.

The Thang:

YHC was enjoying some mumblechatter on the way to the hill. A giant rock jumped out of nowhere and tripped me. Down goes Fine Print. This was the second time I wiped out this week and consider myself lucky to have not injured myself. Once we arrived at the Hill, we counted off into two teams. The “Groupons” were stacked in two columns at the bottom of the hill. One member would grab Groupons and Bernie Sanders up the hill and stack the Groupons on the sidewalk at the top of the hill. Once all 4 Groupons were stacked on top of the hill, the next team member would Bernie up and bring them back down stacking them again at the bottom. Each team member had opportunities to Bernie and stack Groupons while the rest of the team members did the following exercises at the bottom of the hill:
– merkins (20 IC)
– hydraulic squats (15 IC) 
– flutters kicks (20 IC)
– werkins (20 IC)
– air squats (30 IC)
– cuddle (10 count or longer? Freed to lead)
– frozen freddies (20 IC)
– ranger merkins (20 IC)
– bonnie blairs (20 IC)
– box cutters (20 IC)
Rinse and Repeat


YHC called on Ketchup for a Mary suggestion. Ketchup suggested “6 INCHES!!!” The PAX loves Ketchup’s 6 inches…It’s an ab exercise. What is wrong with you?


As a reminder the word of the day is “embrace”. I am trying to embrace being more vulnerable and getting better at communication and sharing my feelings. I turned 38 the day prior and that led me to do some introspection.

[I then reminded Mufasa that “introspection” means “to look inward.”]

At Mainstage name-o-rama yesterday, I said I was 38 for the first time and felt kind of surprised. I felt old. Like many years had passed suddenly all at once. As I thought more about it, I realized that I’ve just sort of been on auto-pilot for a long time, just coasting. I’m 38 years old and if I’m being honest with myself and with you all I can’t think of anything that I’ve devoted maximum effort to since I was 18 and a senior in high school, playing baseball.

That’s 20 years that I’ve been doing the bare minimum to get by. I haven’t been the husband I can be. I haven’t been the father I can be. I haven’t been the son I can be. I haven’t been the attorney I can be. I haven’t been the friend I can be. I have a lot of friends and many long-term friendships but I have a tendency to keep friendships very surface level. And as I’ve become friends with all of you I’ve allowed myself to barely push myself here. As I reflected, I felt a sense of guilt knowing that for two decades I’ve been shortchanging so many people, wasting their time and squandering my potential.

So, what was it 20 years ago that got me to give it my all and reach my potential?

It was being part of a team. Embracing being part of a group of guys that always had each other’s backs. Guys who would do anything for each other. And for the first time in 20 years, I feel like that is what I’m a part of here. What we are here.
We are a team. 
We show up here together with a purpose
We have built a culture 
We encourage each other
We care for each other
We make fun of each other, too, and that’s okay. It comes from a place of respect and love. [Hi Mufasa 😊]

I can assure you that our team is winning. And if we keep posting, we will never lose. 

So I am committing to you all, my teammates, that I am going to embrace being more vulnerable and more intentional from here on out. To be present and give my best effort at home, at work, in the community, and here with you each morning in the Gloom. And all I ask of you, my teammates, is to expect it from me and to please hold me to it. I love you all.


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Our mission is to plant, grow and serve small (free) workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.

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