7 Sept 2021 / AO The Helix / 57 Degrees 9 knot winds

17 PAX: Nailed It, LPC, Moon Man, Toto, Armadillo, Romeo, The Detention, Black Flag, Al Borland, Vila (FNG), House Party (FNG), Wax on, Short Sale, Z-bo, Scoober, pantyhose, Doppler


0528 An almost out the door tummy rumble led to an early morning acceleration capability check in my car. Good news, it still accelerates. Came in hot to the parking lot squealled the tires a bit. Jumped out, grabbed two cones and a Weinke ran to the hill placed one at the top and bottom. Ran back grabbed my shovel flag, because it is always important to rep the Top Rope flag. Turned around, checked the watch 5:29…….. aaaand 5:30! Impeccable timing by your’s truly (editor’s note: Truly was not actually present at this beatdown)


I welcomed everyone to the Helix, congratulated myself for my time-management skillz and jumped into the core principles, the mission statement, and credo. Saw that we had not 1, but 2 FNGs!!!!  I hoped that this would be a good first beatdown that would be hard to forget. Off we went for our Mosey!!!!


Made it about 30 feet out of the parking and realized I was still winded from the sprint up the hill and back to the shovel flag from just 2 minutes earlier. Since I am free to lead I decided this was far enough.

Big ones x 10

Tappy taps x 10

Pre-Thang: Brass Monkey

This morning the beatdown was going to be a real leg smasher centered on the Monkey Humper. I showed everyone some of my new favorite variations and then had us dive into a two and a half minute butt bouncing good time that would make a baboon smile.

Monkey Humpers x10

Right Leg Monkey Humpers (both hands on right ankle) x 10

Left Leg Monkey Humpers (Both hands on left ankle) x 10

Gorilla Humpers x 10

Right Leg Lonkey Mungers (Low lunge position both hands on right ankle) x 10

Left Leg Lonkey Mungers (Low lunge position both hands on left ankle) x 10

Chimp Pimpers (feet close side by side) x 10

I cranked up “Brass Monkey” by the Beastie Boys and we monkey Humped till our legs were properly pumped!

The song was over but he fun was just getting started. “Hey Hey we’re the Monkees” was next up on the play list and with that in our ears we headed for the hill.

The Thang:

We got to the hill and stretched out in a nice long line along the bottom. PAX were informed we would be doing leg exercises IC at the base of the hill and then we would be travelling up the hill in various fun and exciting ways. At the top of the hill more IC exercises awaited us. We would then run back to the bottom. Each exercise will be 20 reps.

Playlist: Monkey Wrench/Foo Fighters, Dance Monkey/Tunes and I, Shock the Monkey/Peter Gabriel, Monkey/George Michael, Monkey Type Beat/harvoYT

Monkey Humpers

Bernie Sanders up the Hill



Frog Jumps


Gorilla Humpers

Squat Shuffle left leg uphill


Johnny Drama

Squat Shuffle Right leg uphill

Alternating Shoulder Taps

Johnny Drama


Plank Jacks

Copper Head Squat

Left hand uphill travelling plank

Mountain Climbers

Chimp Pimpers

Right Hand uphill travelling plank

Overhead clap

Monkey Humpers

At this point I decided we had enough fun on the hill and should change it up for one more fun leg burner. We moseyed up to the school and found a nice long wall.

Post thang: The Wall-sit Steinel

Wall-sit 30 count

Right leg up 30 count

10 wall-sit toe touches (IC)

Wall sit 30 count

Left leg up 30 count

10 Wall-sit Toe touches (IC)

Play list: Another Brick in the Wall Pt 2/Pink Floyd


Box Cutters x 10

LBCs x 10

American Hammers Rancid Style


Announcements/Prayer Requests

Queen service is winding down watch for a Friday luncheon and celebration.


I recently found an F3 hat with one of my favorite quotes from John Muir on it “the mountains are calling, and I must go” It is a quote I love because I am a man who has spent lots of time in the mountains skiing, hiking, climbing, and this quote and Muir’s love of nature strike a chord in me. This quote comes from a letter that Muir wrote to his sister after a long trip out west exploring the wilderness. The full quote is “The mountains are calling & I must go & I will work on while I can, studying incessantly” John Muir was working hard on his writing at this time and new that he needed to not only find inspiration on the mountains but also work hard to reach his goals.

I still love the mountains but in Nebraska it is harder for me to find them at the ready when I need inspiration. I instead have found F3 where I am surrounded by men who in many ways stand as tall and strong as the mountains of the West. I want to thank the men in the circle for inspiring me and remind them that they are being looked to for inspiration by other men.



Fomaha - 3211 posts

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