Woodshed Rider Brothers April 9, 2021

The Woodshed: Brotherly Love

4/9/21. The Woodshed AO | Elmwood Park

PAX:  Stinkbait brah, Touche brah, Khakis (Respect) brah, Retweet brah, Cyclone (Respect) brah, Spacebar brah, Big One brah, TC (Respect) brah, Smashmouth brah, The Plague brah, Two Step brah, Wait Time brah, Blackjack brah, Porta John brah, Poloroid brah, Buns of Steel brah, Flanders brah, Pony Express brah, Sportiva brah, Baby Shark brah, Blue Chip brah, Hipster (Respect) brah, Jeeves (Repsect) brah, Wide Right brah, Roadhouse brah, Frosty brah, Grease Fire brah, Bubbles brah, Tater Tot brah, Slow Pitch brah. 

Q: The Rider Brothers: Bubbles Tater Tot and Slow Pitch

Weather:  Could’ve been in the 40’s, not certain. Light gloves, hooded sweatshirt did the trick.  

Tater Tot and Slow Pitch met up at the AO around 4:45, set up cones discussed logistics, pointed, laughed, smiled, pointed shrugged shoulders, called it good and drove to put in shovel flags, to then meet with some bros for the pre-run. Always the most solid HIM on the Flat Fridays.

After completing the 3 mile-ish track, the pre Pax met at shovel flags with a jovial group of men and the youngest Rider brother, Bubbles. 

Right at 5:30 Slow Pitch announced it was time and Tater Tot stated his watch said 4:29. Both Bubbles and Slow Pitch looked at each other and were wondering if we’re now on Mountain Time. Tater – Blah, blah blah, then let’s catch Slow Pitch off guard and ask him the 5 principles, blah blah blah, maybe Bubbles knows the Mission Statement?  These could be in reversed order of memory; Slow Pitch was distracted talking to Big One about some photojournalist opportunities later in the workout. Bubbles informed the PAX; we’re going to mosey to the grotto.

Warmarama – Bubbles led the 31 men in the sunken grotto. There were some exercises but the memorable one was the merkin/mountain climber, no rest combo, on repeat for three rotations. Not certain how many reps were done, but there was enough to create grumbles. When he said recover, there was a sigh of relief. Let’s mosey to near the HPER building on UNO’s campus.

Pre-Thang – The Rider Bro’s honor to the Masters and sibling stupidity with payment of burpees. It was explained that Slow Pitch is going to hit a whiffle ball with a driver at his two brothers standing in front of him. If he hits them no exercises. If he doesn’t, 10 burpees for the PAX. The Rider morons would rotate taking hacks, one after another.  

(The night before Slow Pitch and Tater Tot were texting final details of the pre thang with each other.  Here is that exact exchange:SP – “I’m bringing a driver.” Tater – “Nope. No. Stop. Not a driver. The small club is good. Keep them moving. Jesus Slow Pitch.” SP – “You can’t stop me. It’s in the car. I’ve got whiffle balls and a driver. You mind your own business.”  And so, that was that. Decision was made). Slow Pitch was first, grabbed the driver, set it on the tee, took a practice swing and then the real cut, which was without caution. Ball went up and two the right of his brothers. There was a statement from Big One that he was surprised it was actually hit that hard.  10 Burpees. Next up Tater smoked the ball to the right at chest height…missed…10 Burpees. Last up, youngest brother, Bubbles. This is his dream, the stage to shine on, here it is!  He brought the club back then pulled the trigger, a well hit ball, probably over 50/60 mph, head high and right between his brother’s ears. It hits the wall and both older brothers are in disbelief, laughing and pointing at their ears, signifying they heard it…very well. Had that hit either brother, it would’ve left a, well deserved, mark. Both older brothers were secretly hoping there would be that story to tell. 10 Burpees. There was a look of concern on the faces of the PAX. You could hear the collective thought, “these guys are idiots.”  

The Thang – count into 3 groups a Rider in each group. One goes to bottom of staircase and is the push group, three to staircase to start exercises and two to the scoreboard to start exercises.

After gathering at bottom of stairs, group one will run to University drive, do 5 burpees together at University Drive, then run to scoreboard and relieve group two that is doing AMRAP exercises. 

Group two runs to staircase and relieves group three. At staircase group hops upstairs all the way to top, then comes back down to AMRAP exercises until relieved. Repeat this until Omaha.

Mosey group will always run to University Drive, complete 5 Burpees then Mosey to score board.

Exercises at Scoreboard: AMRAP until relieved

Gas Pumpers

Hand Release Merkins 

Big Boys

Carolina Dry Docks

Starfish Crunches

Exercises at Staircase: Hop up the stairs, return to bottom to AMRAP until relieved.

​Air Squats

​Alternating Lunges

​Bonnie Blairs

​Jump Squats

​Calf Raises

Not certain if there were more than the first two sets of exercises completed, but that seemed enough.

Complete until Omaha. Omaha called at 6:03. Went back to where the driver and balls were. Rider brothers gave their oldest brother, Wait Time the honor…and? Shanked it. 10 Burpees.

Mosey back to flags.

Mary – Tater. Here’s a first! American Hammers, in cadence, while passing a coupon around the circle. Real dumb and tough to align mind, body, counting and handing a cinder block to the guy next to you. 

NOR – Rider brothers trying to win the gold at the stupid Olympics and taking a commanding lead. After each PAX member stated their name, the Bros would say “brah!” This happened 31 times. If one was to watch this video again, they’d notice that Wait Time’s expression was that of a guy that just won the lottery and Flanders’ was wishing someone would murder these clucks in front of him. Either way, both expressions are embraced.

COT- Slow Pitch- The low hanging fruit here brotherhood. What is brotherhood to me? Agift!

I’ve been given a gift. It was given to me by my two brothers that had it given to them. This to me is the brotherhood. There is a line of individuals stacked before them, that had someone give it to them and so on.  These guys didn’t hang on to it for themselves. They gave it away freely. If you are standing heretoday, someone gave it to you. If you’re not an FNG, you’ve come back again, because the previous time was special enough for you to return. If you are an FNG, you’ve been hoodwinked, or you trusted the guy that brought you here. That guy knew this brotherhood or fellowship was special enough to introduce it to you. The point is this; Don’t hoard this for yourself. Encourage others to join you and let them in on the secret. You know it’s special. It’s laughter, stupid antics, shared discomfort, hugs, encouragement, vulnerability, competition, exhaustion, accountability, friendship, but, lastly and most importantly it’s love, which is the gift, so go share it!

Slow Pitch told the PAX they could put their hands on the shoulders of their brothers, if comfortable. 

Prayer – Bubbles

An honor, a true, true honor!  

– The Rider Brothers – Bubbles, Tater Tot and Slow Pitch

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