Cornhusker Handicap – March 2, 2021 – 28 °, Clear Skies and a Full Moon
F3: Fitness, Fellowship and Faith
5 Core Principles: Free, Always Held Outside, Open to All Men, Led in a Rotating Fashion, and Ends in a COT
* Sticky Bandit was put on the Q as a replacement for Birdman who went down at the district the day before. Sticky enlisted E-85 as his CO-Q the night before since they are always getting mixed up, even though Sticky shows up way more than E-85 and is far better looking.
PAX (19): Gunner, Big One, Nugent, Tater Tot, U-Haul, Icy Hot, Slow Pitch, Othello, Spanx, Cyclone (Respect), Dome (Hate), Biff, Port-a-John, Polaroid, Ponzi, Two-Step, Sister Act, E-85 (Hate, CO-Q), Sticky Bandit (Hate, Q)
Since he skipped the District the day prior, YHC decided to prerun with the Sugar Rays and the Clydesdales. However, U-Haul took the Clydesdale’s up the dreaded Shirley. Sticky was towards the front of the group and despite winning the battle, Shirley won the war. A side cramp and an abysmal pace forced Sticky to cut the prerun shorter than normal. T-claps to U-Haul for staying alongside. 8 (?) men pre-ran the beatdown, an admirable feat.
5:30 came and Sticky was still feeling it, but had to proceed. No FNG dared enter the Cornhusker on a day such as this. Seeing as I am not a professional and my workout was put together than less 12 hours prior, I encouraged modification where necessary. We took for a mosey to the stage and some Warmarama.
10 Imperial Walkers
10 Cherry Pickers
10 Big Ones
10 High Knees (IC)
10 Tappy Taps
We then took off for the Obelisk which was kindly referred to as a penis by yours truly.
Keeping in line with the theme of March Madness, we had 6 planned stops all which featured exercises in counts of either 64, 32, 16, 8, 4 or 2 though they rarely fell in order much to the dismay of the PAX.
Obelisk (led by Sticky)
64 Mountain Climbers (Regular) (Obelisk)
32 Bobby Hurley
16 Chicken Peckers
8 Carolina Dry Docks
Theatre (led by E-85)
16 Oh yeah’s
4 Tempo Merkins
Lights (led by Sticky Bandit)
32 Air Squats (Slow Pitch)
16 Big Boys (Spanx)
8 Hand Release Merkins (Icy Hot)
GreenPlains (led by E-85) – this is where the counting got very suspect (Disclaimer: E-85 went to Wayne)
16 Alternating Shoulder Taps
16 Monkey Humpers (supposed to be 32, but Dome wasn’t listening. PAX were appreciative of the discount)
16 Low Dolleys
Fountain Circle (led by Sticky Bandit)
16 Frozen Freddie Mercurys (tried to give to Nugent, but he didn’t know what they were. Caused massive confusion)
8 Atlanta Night Clubs (invented by Sticky. Chinook with a pelvic thrust. Little exercise, great humor)
4 Failure to Launch
Hill near CSM Soccer Field
32 Flutter Kicks
8 Pickle Pushers- It was at this point that the PAX were interrupted mid pushing of pickles by an unfortunate security guard from CSM. Surely witnessing 19 HIM pushing pickles on all female campus was a sight for sore eyes, but Tater Tot talked him down and we sprinted off in search of our end.
4 Copperhead Squats
The PAX returned to the playground for 16 LBCs and 32 American Hammers, Rancid Style. Omaha was called at 6:06 AM and was relished by everyone.
Nameorama had great lighting and better camera work.
Announcements and Prayers:- Wentworth has a service opportunity on March 13th. Great 3rd F opportunity.- Coffeeteria as usual at Scooters.- T-Claps to Spanx who has been coming out more as he makes the trek from Council Bluffs.- Prayers for Two Step’s friend Jeff as he fights for innocence.- Prayers for the grandparents of E-85’s M. They head to MN this weekend as he has been put in hospice after a long battle with cancer.- Prayers for PainKillers mother who passed away from brain cancer over the weekend.
COT (Sticky Bandit)
As I work in basketball, March Madness is always a special month. But something has always rubbed me the wrong way about it. Teams will have incredible years, lose a tough game in the tournament and their season will be judged as a failure? How is that right? We as humans unfairly judge things by their ending. Whether it be basketball seasons, relationships, projects, or any other number of things we let that final taste in our mouth be the entire judge. That’s not right. I think about all of our PAX making incredible progress in Queen Service. If they fall short of their overall weight goal, does that disregard everything else they accomplished? No – not one bit. Tony Bennett, head coach of the Virginia Cavaliers Men’s Basketball Team, was the first coach of a 1 seed to lose to a 16 seed. The next year, his team won the title. He told his team, “If you learn to use it right, the adversity, it will buy you a ticket to a place you could not have gone any other way.” Not everything ends the way we want it to, but by no means does that mean anything we accomplished in the meantime or the journey as a whole was not worth it. That adversity will motivate us to do more and to better the next time.
E85 gave us a moment of silence for all the prayers we held in our hearts as well as those mentioned. He thanked Sky Q for the wonderful weather, for the chance to come together, and a great workout. March Madness is the time of craziness and whether we are feeling like the underdogs or the favorites, we know that anything is possible with the Lord. Amen.