F3 Omaha at Futurama Backblast: A Tolkien Inspired Beatdown

January 21st – Q: Sticky Bandit – 28 degrees & Crisp Air

Pax (16): Dr. Thunder, Hipster (Respect, Respect), Dome (Hate), Spreadsheet, Icy Hot, Buns of Steel, E85 (Hate), U-Haul, Othello, Two Step, Grease Fire, Painkiller, Side Dish, Mac N’ Cheese (Hate), Port-A-John, Touche

#mumblechatter: After a blister 5K with Othello and U-Haul through the Mines of Moria and Rivendell, Sticky Bandit welcomed the PAX to Futurama with the subtle tunes of Howard Shore both “Concerning Hobbits” and “The Breaking of the Fellowship”. From there, we made our way to the warm-a-rama basing all of our counts by 9s with respect to the 9 members of the Fellowship of the Ring.


  • 9 SSH
  • 9 Imperial Walkers
  • 9 Goofballs
  • 9 Tappy Taps
  • 9 Abe Vigoda
  • 9 Steel Claps
  • 9 Cherry Pickers
  • 9 High Knees
  • 9 Tempo Merkins

The Thang:

  • 4 Stations – L (Legs), O (On Your Back), T (Top of Body), R (Random???)
  • Number off
  • L, O, and T are all AMRAP – rotate through
  • Done Fellowship style – talk about a quote or whatever the hell you want
  • R is push group – must crawl up Mount Doom (grassy hill) to get to station L
  • Any time “For Frodo” is yelled – 3 Burpees


  • Air Squats (18s)
  • Monkey Humpers (27s)
  • Bonnie Blairs (27s)
  • Lunges (18s)

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

On Your Back Legs (LORD OF THE RINGS)

  • LBCs (by 18s)
  • Freddie Mercury (by 18s)
  • Heels to Heaven (by 18s)
  • Heel Touches (by 18s)

“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” – J. R. R. Tolkien

Top of Your Body (LORD OF THE RINGS)

  • Merkins (by 9s)
  • Alternating Shoulder Taps (by 9s)
  • Carolina Dry Docks (by 9s)
  • Werkins (by 9s)

“The hands of the king are the hands of a healer, and so the rightful king shall be known.” – J.R.R Tolkien

Random – Roll the die and enjoy the journey!

A – 18 Bobby Hurley

B – 9 Burpees 

C – 18 Cracker Jack Squats

D – 18 Sun Gods (9/each)

E – 27 Second Air Squat

F – 18 Flutter Kicks (IC)

G – 18 Groiners

H – 9 Hand Release Burpees

I – 18 Mountain Climbers

J – Oldest Decides (18)

K – 18 LPCs

L – 18 Low Dollys

M – 18 Merkins

N – 18 Plank Jacks

O – 18 Oh Yeahs! (10/each)

P – 18 Pickle Pushers

Q – 99 Burpees

R – 27 Second Chillcut Plank

S – 27 SSH 

T – 18 Chuck Norris Merkins

U – Run to Dodge and Back

V – Go Slap Sticky in the Face

W – Youngest Decides (18)

X – 54 Pickle Pushers (IC)

Y – 63 Second Wall Sit

Z – Omaha

“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.” – J. R. R. Tolkien

#mumblechatter: The workout was particularly brutal but was fueled by strong fellowship and great EDM tracks from Seven Lions and others. Through two rotations, Sticky Bandit could sense that morale and energy were low. The Omaha call was resounded throughout the park and the men gathered for Merry. Merry was swift and ended with a bang (unplanned) and an electric drop from our song (also, unplanned).


  • LBCs (by 9s)
  • Freddie Mercury (by 9s)
  • Heels to Heaven (by 9s)
  • Heel Touches (by 9s)
  • Morian Axes (27 – rancid style) 

Announcements: T-claps to everyone doing Queen Service. Adding a potential new AO so please be willing to reach out and lead. Two-Step echoed this by reaching out to Q a workout – plenty of opportunities.

Prayer Requests: A church friend of Grease Fire has some health issues in their family. F3 brothers that have Covid or affected by Covid. Continuing to pray for the brother of Khaki’s as he seeks healthier living.


I am taking a page out of Lucky Charm’s book and using this space to be a bit vulnerable. I have always struggled with judging people too harshly. I will have a friend for years, then all of the sudden, one foul deed changes my entire view point on people. My closest friends for the last 8 years I haven’t seen in months because of petty differences. It’s funny – as I thought about my COT, that same week my favorite podcast came out with an episode about this. We all suffer from something called “Fundamental Attribution Error” where we see something wrong with somebody and apply that to their entire character – which is wrong and hurtful to many others. I actually think that is part of the reason why I like so many people in F3 so much – because half the time the only thing I know about you is that you love coming to the gloom and what F3 stands for, so why should anything else matter? As we finish up MLK week, he said “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” That’s what matters, right? Not the color of your political party, but how you treat people. MLK also said,  “People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.” That is my challenge to each of you – to get know the men we work out with better. And when you come across some differences, find your common ground of F3 and love of community and family because that is what actually matters. To bring it full circle, in Lord of the Rings: The Return of The King in which, approaching the final battle, Gimli says, “I never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an elf.” Legolas replies, “What about side by side with a friend?” to which Gimli replies, “Aye, I could do that.” I would be honored to die during one of Splinter Cell’s workout next to any of you. Let’s take a knee.

-Sticky Bandit

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