Heavy Metal Backblast: Festivus For The Rest of Us

December 23, 2020/Stinson Park/AO – Heavy Metal/Temperature: a warm 46 degrees

Pax:  E-85 (Hate), Cyclone (RESPECT!), Hoosgow, Honey Stinger, Drone Strike, Lucky Charms, Bonne(ville), Bloodshot, Othello, Sticky Bandit (Hate), STELLA, Black Flag, Zebo, Frosty, Grease Fire, Touché, Two-Step, Spacebar, Brazilian, Beta Max, Folsom, TC (RESPECT!), Santiago (Hate), Tuner.

Q: Safe Ride

Safe Ride welcomed the Pax on the playground area in Stinson Park at 5:30am.  The mission statement and disclaimer were given. Yada Yada Yada, and then Safe Ride explained the origins of Festivus. 

Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son.  I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man.  As I rained blows down upon him, I realized there had to be another way.  The doll was destroyed, but out of that, a new holiday was born.  A Festivus for the rest of us!!!  Folsom grabbed the Fesitvus aluminum poll out of the crawl space and brought it to Heavy to celebrate this glorious holiday.  Safe Ride noted that the airing of grievances would be addressed in due time.  For now, let’s start with the feats of strength!    The PAX moseyed around the park for a quick lap.  Brazilian had a brisk pace during the mosey.  Many wondered if bourbon was waiting for him at the end. 

WARM-A-RAMA

The PAX returned to playground area and t Brazlian’s dismay, and perhaps several of the PAX, there was no bourbon waiting to be consumed.  Instead, the PAX circled up for warm-a-rama.

  1. SSH x 20 IC
  2. Windmills x 10 IC
  3. Randys (I can’t put my arms down!!) x 20 IC
  4. Goofballs a/k/a Elaine Dance Moves x 15 IC

THE THANG:

There was no pre-thang this morning as this is Heavy Metal.  We’re here to pump iron and get swole.  Safe Ride explained that this was going to be a traditional Heavy workout.  We would complete an exercise AMRAP while two PAX acted as the timer/push.  The push would run to the lighted tower and back to the circle.  Safe Ride instructed the PAX that upon arriving at the Tower the push needed to yell out “SERENITY NOW” or “BOSCO”.  Upon the Push’s return the next two HIM would act as the push while the remainder of the PAX changed to the next exercise.  The PAX went through the following exercises:

  1. Arnold Press
  2. Dead Lift
  3. Curls for the gurls
  4. flutter kicks
  5. Bent over rows
  6. Alternating lunge
  7. Chest press
  8. Big boy sit ups
  9. Goblet squats
  10. Triceps overhead
  11. Dying Cyclones

Rinse and repeat until OMAHA.  Safe Ride noted that several PAX were eager for OMAHA to be called.  Unfortunately for them, this only motivated Safe Ride to keep going.  Safe Ride ultimately relented and called OMAHA at 6:10am.

MOM:

  1. American Hammers x 2 IC (a/k/a Bloodshot style).  We had enough core during the Thang. 

MUSICAL PLAYLIST

Today was a good one for the playlist.  Turns out, there’s not a lot of Festivus music available.  So, Safe Ride had to resort to traditional Christmas tunes.  The songs were as follows:

  1. White Christmas – The Drifters
  2. Christmas in Hollis – RUN DMC
  3. All I Want for Christmas – Mariah Carey
  4. What Christmas Means to Me – Stevie Wonder
  5. Little Saint Nick – The Beach Boys
  6. Feliz Navidad – Jose Feliciano
  7. Santa Claus is Coming to Town – Bruce Springsteen
  8. Christmas (Please Come Home) – Darlene Love
  9. Wonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney
  10. Happy Holidays – Andy Williams
  11. The Chipmunk Song – The Chipmunks and David Seville
  12. Run Rudolph Run – Sister Hazel
  13. Snow – Bing Crosby, Peggy Lee, Danny Kaye and Trudy Stevens
  14. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – Jackson 5
  15. Jingle Bell Rock – Bobby Helms
  16. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Andy Williams
  17. Mele Kalikimaka – Bing Crosby and The Andrew Sisters

ANNOUNCEMENTS/PRAYERS:

  • The Santa Saunter is December 26th.  Jean Claude has posted a signup sheet and information on Slack.  There are a lot of distances and start times for this awesome event.  Please check Slack for further details.
  • CSAUP January 2nd starting at 6:01am.  The registration went up last night.  It’s going to be an epic event. Brazilian will have further details shortly…
  • The F3 Omaha Foundation is rolling out along with the CSAUP.  This organization will be used to help local charities, as well as create a college scholarship to be given to local graduate.  You all can be original bricklayers (much like a Redwood) with this organization.  Please consider giving what you can. 
  • Big TCLAPS to Santiago (Hate).  He’ll be graduating from Chadron State in May and then going into active duty for the Army.  His father has taught him well and we are all grateful for Santiago’s commitment to keeping this country safe.

COT:

It was pointed out to Safe Ride that it was 6:14am by the time he made it to his COT.  Good thing it was short.  Safe Ride’s “grievances” were this: damn all of you HIM for motivating Safe Ride to get up every morning.  Damn you all for accelerating in your fitness.  It forces Safe Ride to get up for those pre-rucks and runs.  Damn you all for being leaders inside and outside of F3. Safe Ride is truly thankful for each and every one of you.  Now go have a Merry Christmas with family and friends.

Honey Stinger closed us out in prayer

AYE!

Safe Ride

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