October 6, 2020//Westside High School//AO- The Colosseum//Somewhere between 50-60 degrees Fahrenheit (???)//The Field Turf was excessively wet//
Pax: SafeRide, Toadstool, Wentworth, Folsom, Othello, Gumbo, Bloodshot, Baskins, Flanders, Tin Cup, Gobbler, Black Flag (FNG!), TC, Biff, Skillet, Tenderfoot, U-Haul, Super Tasty, Chiclets, Stella, Pancake, Griswold, Wide Right & Tugboat
YHC announced the core principles and the mission and all of the other customary pleasantries and told the PAX that together we would be learning about B Theory. YHC did encourage the PAX to modify their exercises in their discretion, but just for today I made a special request and asked that if they modified any exercises that they be sure to modify to another exercise that started with the letter “B”.
Warm O’ Rama
20 Bobbie Hurleys
12 Box-Cutters (In Cadence)
12 Bonnie-Blairs (In Cadence)
Warm O’Rama was intentionally brief because there just aren’t very many good warm-up exercises that start with the letter “B”.
The Thang: Up-The-Mountain-Down-The-Mountain Triple B Delight
The Pax were instructed to start on the zero yard line and bear crawl ten yards. At the ten yard line, the Pax were then instructed to go “up the mountain” and perform one big boy situp and one burpee. Then the Pax bear crawled another ten yards and performed two big boy situps and two burpees at the twenty-yard line, continuing this pattern and adding one incremental big boy situp and burpee at each ten yard interval. When the Pax reached the 100-yard line and completed their 10 big boy situps and 10 burpees, they would then take a lap around the track and restart going back “down the mountain” and return to the other side but counting down from 10 burpees and 10 big boy situps and decreasing by one rep at each 10-yard line. Once they made their way down the mountain they took another lap and rinsed and repeated. This was literally all we did until we called “OMAHA” at 6:03 am. By my count one full trip up and down the mountain aggregated to 200 yards of bear crawls, 110 big boy situps and 110 burpees. Several people made it all the way up and down the mountain and then almost completed a 2nd ascent. Throughout the workout there was a strange element of tension in the air, as if the PAX thought this was really stupid but they were all to nice to actually verbalize that sentiment to YHC.
The PAX formed a circle at the 50-yard line and joined in American Hammers Rancid-style, with each PAX yelling out something they loved in life that starts with the letter “B” and then leading the group in one hammer. PAX were told that they couldn’t use someone else’s word and that they had to come up with their own. The words “beer”, “bourbon”, “barbecue”, “burgers”. “bride, my” and various pieces of human anatomy were all offered up.
YHC told a story about when he was back in college with his friends in his roommates Blazer to buy Beers with another friend named Bart on their way to go to a party where we were hoping to see some Babes. At this point, YHC and his friends invented “B Theory”, which is a simple philosophy that all of the best things in life start with the letter “B”. However, for contrast, YHC explained that he had built the Thang around Burpees, Big Boys and Bear Crawls because those were the 3 exercises he hated the most out of all the exercises that started with the letter “B”.
So I asked the group to imagine a magical alphabet wizard descending on Phelps Field on a flying dragon and offering to use his letter magic to completely remove the letter B from our existence. This would permanently erase bear crawls, burpees and big boys and we would never have to do those exercises again. However, as a trade-off, everything else in life that starts with the letter B would also cease to exist, including everything we had yelled out during Mary. I admitted that this was a pretty stupid hypothetical and that it was partly motivated by my desire to talk about wizards and spells and dragons. But, I think this is something that a lot of us do when we interact with one another. If we have one disagreement with someone on one limited topic then we will let our viewpoint on that disagreement completely shape our perception of this other person. We won’t see all of their good qualities (BBQ, burritos, butts) instead we will only see their bad qualities (burpees, big boys and bear crawls). So, in these divisive times, I was trying to encourage the PAX to not let some of these disagreements define our perceptions of one another and to work hard to consider people’s most positive qualities when we evaluate them as persons. Obviously we have matters of fundamental disagreement where we might not be able to agree or even compromise, but hopefully if we can find some common ground that we agree on then we can maybe find a way to at least coexist. That was what I wanted to get across anyways. I think all of the dragon-talk and letter sorcerer metaphors might have taken me off message. If we all had a good workout then that’s something at least.
Have a great day! – Tugboat