September 29, 2020/Stinson Park/AO – Cornhusker Handicap/Temperature: a perfect 48.

Pax: U-Haul, Cyclone (RESPECT), Gunner, Tater Tot, Mac-N-Cheese (Hate!), Smashmouth, Biff, Piano Man, Two-Step, Wentworth, Spreadsheet (Hate!), Khakis (RESPECT), Chiclets (RESPECT), Radar, Buns Of Steel, Icy Hot, Nugent, Blue Chip, Polaroid, Othello, Ponzi, Bubbles, Blue Suede, Merch, Grillz, Frosty, Baskins (RESPECT), Beta Max, FNG Chris Buethe (n/k/a Grease Fire), Slow Pitch, Safe Ride.

Q: Slow Pitch and Safe Ride (a/k/a Slow Ride)

Slow Pitch and Safe Ride welcomed the Pax of F3 Omaha to Cornhusker Handicap, the featured AO, in Stinson Park at 5:30am.  There was a bit of confusion with the Co-Qs on what may or may not have been discussed.  However, Safe Ride remembers that we welcomed our FNG.  The Mission Statement of F3 was flawlessly recited.  Said mission is to plant, grow, and serve small men’s workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership.  The 5 core principles were disclosed: 1) it’s free; 2) open to all men; 3) held outdoors rain or shine; 4) peer led in a rotating fashion; 5) and ends in a circle of trust.  Slow Pitch and Safe Ride are not professionals.  There is a real risk of injury, so they instructed the men to modify as needed.  The Foghat playlist then began.


Mosey from the shovel flags to the entrance of the Inner Rail parking for some WAR

  1. Tappy Taps x 15 IC
  2. SSH x 20 IC
  3. Mountain climbers x 15 IC
  4. Merkins 15
  5. Snuffy x 10 IC (Forward then backward)


The PAX took a short mosey to the open grass area by Genesis Health Club.  Once at the location Safe Ride pointed out that there may be some sad clowns working out all by their lonesome upstairs at Genesis.  As such, the PAX completed a few exercises to motivate the sad clowns to perhaps join our awesomeness.  The exercises were as follows:

  1. Oh Yeahs x 10 IC (Each hand)
  2. Pickle Pushers x 20 IC
  3. Monkey Humpers x. 20 IC
  4. Pickle Pointers x 15 IC

Safe Ride then handed the reins over to Slow Pitch for The Thang


Slow Pitch decided to deliver absolute savagery with this one.  The PAX moseyed to the parking garage for a Ladder.  First, the men paired off in groups of 2.  They were instructed to start with 10 Monkey Humpers IC on the ground level, going up by 5 on a total of 8 landings, running Bernie’s on the ramps and forward mosey on the flats.  Total of 220 godforsaken Monkey Humpers.  Run down the staircase and repeat with hand release Merkins.  By the Co-Q’s count, the furthest any group made it was the 4th level of hand release.  Ouch!


The PAX returned to the shovel flag for a quick Mary.

  1. Grave Diggers – 20 IC
  2. Gas Pumpers – 20 IC
  3. Heal Touches – 20 IC
  4. E2K’s – 10 each side
  5. American Hammers – 20 IC


There may or may not have been mumble chatter this morning but with Foghat blaring (or perhaps the lack of oxygen due to so many damn Monkey Humpers) it was difficult for the Co-Qs to decipher what, if anything, the PAX talked about.  One can assume, however, that there were plenty of curse words being flung Slow Pitch’s way because of the Thang he put together. 


For the COT, Safe Ride read the following quote: “The best exercise for the human heart is reaching down to lift someone else up.”  Tim Russert

This Co-Q has been in the works since last summer.  The dream originated after an Oracle workout led by our man, Folsom.  During Name-O-Rama Safe Ride, after witnessing Slow Pitch struggle blurting out his own name, mistakenly, and proudly, shouted “Slow Ride”.  A few chuckles later Safe Ride corrected and stated his actual F3 name.  However, it planted the seed for a Slow Pitch/Safe Ride Co-Q. 

When thinking about what to discuss during the Slow Ride COT I thought about how freaking awesome our man Slow Pitch truly is.  I started with F3 exactly 3 weeks prior to Slow Pitch.  I remember his first beatdown and naming.  Over the next few months I got to know Slow Pitch and realized how important he was to my own acceleration.  It started by Slow Pitch EH-ing me into going on pre-runs at Woodshed.  I was completely fine getting an additional 30 minutes of sleep but Slow Pitch’s text motivated me to lace up my shoes and hit the pavement.  He would also occasionally shoot me text messages encouraging me, or perhaps congratulating me, on a good run or workout. 

That is the real unique, and awesome, thing about F3. It’s that one text message, or discussion at coffeeteria, that can make a huge difference.  Reaching out to guys keeps them engaged and coming back to workouts.  It motivates them to accelerate.  Surprisingly, it also makes the person sending the text feel more engaged.  So, I encourage all of you to send a message to a guy.  Tell them how you’re proud of their hard work. Maybe EH them for a flat Friday at the Woodshed. 

I’m very fortunate to have Slow Pitch as a friend and brother. He’s made me a better man.  Lastly, I’m privileged that we finally teamed up for this workout.   


  • Vala’s October 8th.  RSVP ASAP
  • Lots of VQs happening.  Keep them coming and go support those who are popping that Q cherry.
  • Shovel pass this Friday at Woodshed.
  • 2nd annual Khakis Challenge starts October 1st.  Goal is to post every day during the Month of October (Monday – Saturday).  Added bonus is if you can post at every AO.  The purpose is to motivate guys to accelerate. 
  • I’m sorry if I forgot any other announcements/prayer requests

Slow Pitch took us out in prayer.


F3Omaha - 1537 posts

Our mission is to plant, grow and serve small (free) workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.


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