Futurama Backblast: History Lesson

Are We Headed for Another Dust Bowl? | Science | Smithsonian Magazine

AO: Futurama

DATE: 9/24/20

Weather: 67 degrees with a slight breeze and clear skies

PAX: U-haul, Cyclone (Respect!), TC (Respect!), 2 Step, Dismal, KC, Polaroid, Hipster (Respectx2!), Rollbar, Othello, Rooster, FNG – Wrong Way (Welcome! Respect!), Magic, Bogie, #Hashtag, Biff, Piano Man, Lucky Charms, Spreadsheet, Hard Hat

Q: Hard Hat


Welcome: As PAX were rolling in, Hard Hat anxiously kept checking his watch. Everything was laid out, and the super detailed plan was in hand. Now to execute the plan. Some PAX asked questions about the preblast, like “How far back in time are we going?”. The response, “Quite a ways back”. Once the clock struck 5:30, everyone was welcomed. One new guy was present, so the full spiel was given. This is F3, 5 principles, and mission statement. The theme was briefly explained, we’re going back in time. Hard Hat led workouts aren’t always fun, but this one should be. Disclaimer: “I am not a professional, so all of the exercises are a suggestion. If you feel the need to modify, please do so. Because we are going back in time, if this workout brings back some repressed memories, I’m sorry.”

*NOTE: The workout was planned to be in-sync with a playlist. There were audibles called along the way. This is the best representation from memory of how our trip through time went.


Warmup: The Roaring 20’s: Song: Makin’ Whoopee by Bing Crosby; 20 IC Hillbillies, 20 IC Tappy Taps, 20 Bobby Hurleys, and 20 IC Abe Vigodas. PAX were then asked to partner up for a 2 man grinder. One man at the top of the stairs performing the exercise listed AMRAP, and the man at the bottom of the stairs performing the listed exercise for the listed number of reps, then running up the stairs to rotate with his partner.

Dirty 30’s: Song: Puttin’ On the Ritz by Harry Richman; 30 Merkins at bottom of stairs, AMRAP Merkins at the top of the stairs. Many PAX were confused at this point, but seemed to be enjoying the theme at the music. Lucky Charms and Polaroid stated “we just did merkins!?” Hard Hat’s response “They call it the dirty 30’s because of the dust bowl. You know how they got a dust bowl? They didn’t rotate their crops!” That got some laughs out of many PAX at the top of the stairs.

HH then hollered out “It’s now the 40’s”. Song: The Woodpecker Song by Glenn Miller; 40 squats at the bottom of the stairs, AMRAP Lunges at the top of the stairs. At this point HH realized that these songs are pretty short and we’re gonna be cycling through this routine pretty quick. Everyone hardly got a chance to do all 40 squats plus the lunges while their partner did squats. HH called out for everyone to stay at the top of the stairs now for the 50’s.

“Some people call the 50’s the Golden Age of Capitalism, so we’re gonna do some ABC’s!” Song: Jailhouse Rock by Elvis Presley. This was the point in the workout where the Q was beginning to lose his voice from all of the shouting over the music. That or he was losing his mind in a time warp, because he screwed up the alphabet. Following ABC’s a description of “Sayer’s 63s” was given. Gale Sayers moved to Omaha in the 50s, and broke an NCAA record in 1963. Similar to Bolt 45s, this is a ½ high squat x 21, a ½ low squat x 21, and 21 full squats. During the Sayer’s 63s The Beatles Twist and Shout (60’s) came on. The Q was not prepared for this, and called audible. The plan was to resume the Grinder with Dying Cockroaches x 20 IC and Twist Squats. Instead, on the full squats of the Sayers 63s, around the 8 or 9 count, Hard Hat told everyone to add a twist to their full squat. Once completed with the squats, everyone did 20 IC Dying Cockroaches. This made up a little time to get back to the grinder for the “Me” decade.

The 70’s were all about “Me”. Look at “me”, yada yada. Song: Rock & Roll by Led Zeppelin. So the grinder had 20 IC Goofballs and AMRAP Monkey Humpers. It should be noted that there are a lot of Monkey Humpers performed while you wait for your partner to do 20 Goofballs and run up the stairs. The pain was real. Because of the pain, we only made it through one round of this. Everyone circled up at the top of the stairs again. Rock and Roll was still playing which meant we were a little ahead of schedule. Oh well, let’s do 20 IC Moroccan Night Clubs. The next song still hadn’t come on…

Perfect time to provide a demonstration of the next exercise: Travota Merkins☝. After the demonstration, the next song came to life. You guessed it, Stayin’ Alive by Bee Gees. This may have been the crowd favorite up to this point. I think we did 25 of them in cadence. Time for a little cool down mosey, because there hasn’t really been a break yet in this workout. Start to mosey around the flagpole and monument. As the PAX made their way around the monument, we rolled into the 80’s.


Song: The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats (but really need hard hats⛑). The mosey became a skip, then a skip with funny arm gestures, then a lunge walk with the funny arm gestures (which requires some serious coordination). After joyfully safety dancing around the monument, we found places on the walls of the monument and began to perform a series of Chicken Peckers, Donkey Kicks, and 10 counts, because frankly, we were getting tired. CP x 10IC, DK x 10IC, 10 count, CP x 15IC, DK x 15IC, 10 count, CP x 10IC, DK x 10IC. During this wall beating, Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard came on. Hard Hat was adding reps to this round to get ready for the next song, but PSSOM is a 4:27 song and it took forever to get over. Knowing the end was in sight, he provided some relief by telling the PAX we can now do some wall sits.

In the wall sit position, we warped into the 90’s. Song: What is Love – 7” mix (wonder what the 7” is🤔) by Haddaway. You better believe we were bobbin’ heads. In fact, if the PAX slowed down in the head bobbing, Hard Hat was hollering out to bob heads some more. Biff provided a strobing headlamp during this which added to the ambiance. After maybe 2 minutes of head bobbing wall sits, the PAX were instructed to move towards the grass for some Catalina Wine Mixers. I think we did 25 of these in cadence. Now mosey back to the top of the stairs. Here we lunge walked down the grass hill to the sidewalk and lined up in a single file.

The new century, 00’s: Song: Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz: The PAX were informed that we would Do-A-Diddy down the sidewalk to Dodge, then make our way back through the grass in the middle of the park. A Do-A-Diddy is a reverse Indian run, where the man in front drops for 5 burpees, calls out “Six”, and joins the run at the back of the line. When the guy at the front hears “Six”, he pulls aside and drops for his 5 burpees. This continued and towards the end the call out of “Six” happened more frequent to allow for all PAX to get in their 5 burpees. During the Do-A-Diddy we transitioned into the 10’s. Song: Truth Hurts by Lizzo. This song was selected to bring back memories any PAX had from MAHA last year. Once back to the base of the hill, the PAX were instructed to Crawl Bear up the hill to the sidewalk. Gassed, this was brutal for many. That hill is a lot longer than it looks on Google Maps. As PAX got towards the top of the hill, we entered back into 2020, welcomed by the song, Quarantine by Blink-182.

I’m exhausted typing all of this.

We circled up, counted off, found the 6 who was lost on the hill, did a Name-a-rama, named our FNG (Wrong Way), had announcements regarding upcoming VQ’s and the remaining IPC offerings. No prayer requests were offered up.

Circle of Trust: Think back through your life. Did you do and accomplish things to your full potential? Chances are, probably not. For me, I grew up with a lot of self-doubt and fear of failure. I was a tough kid to motivate and didn’t do very well in school. In athletics, I wanted to do well, and knew how to work hard, but an injury in 7th grade kept me sidelined for football season, and then another injury and another and another. I wasn’t able to play an actual game of football until my sophomore year and although I worked my ass off in the weight room, I was afraid of getting hurt and that kind of haunted me throughout high school. It wasn’t until college that I started to realize that I was capable of so much more than I had thought. I still avoid a lot of risk to this day, and I know there are a lot of aspects of my life that could use some improvement. The point of this is, look back and think of time you did more or better things than you thought possible. How did it feel? What are the things that have held you back from meeting your potential? Recognize those things and start figuring out how you can push yourself past them. It might mean sharing your goals with others, or asking for some accountability and encouragement. You know you and what motivates you best, so use that when you ask for help. If it means letting someone know to rip your ass for slacking off, or gently providing little boosts of encouragement as you go. This group is an amazing resource for that. You can ask any of the guys doing the Queenservice challenge how helpful the accountability can be. They are doing amazing things with the help of others in this group.

Aye!

Hard Hat

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