8/15/2020: Oracle (6am Aldrich) – Sparty’s Anniversary Race

Saturday, August 15, 2020 | Oracle | Aldrich Elementary | 63 degrees

PAX (20): Mac’n Cheese (Hate), Bubbles (Hate??), Tater Tot, LPC, Pot Hole, Toto, Convoy, Roadhouse, Tugboat (One name, 2 toots), Scrapper, Tube Socks, Pantyhose (FNG), Birdman, Chiclets (Respect), Vandelay (Respect), Side Dish (Hate), Khakis (Respect), Slow Pitch, Wide Right, Sparty
QIC: Sparty
Sparty had been up early as he had been waiting for this day for months. As he arrived into Berrington Park at roughly 05:07, various stops were made to place cones at particular locations. After dropping off a cone at the monkey bars that hosts Red Wings on Monday, Sparty made his way to the bridge that Tater made famous in an early morning workout back in the late spring. The plan was to run on the hiking trail up to 168th St. Sparty made his first “audible” of the morning when he got halfway up the hill and realized the grass was still taller than him and it probably won’t be smart to make the PAX run through this in the dark. He scurried back quickly in fear of being attacked by a mountain lion…Sparty then made his way to the business district and saluted the 4 Pre-Runners. Shout out to Tater Tot, Roadhouse, Slow Pitch, & Tube Socks for putting in some extra miles before the beatdown! Then a 2nd Audible was made, Sparty didn’t want to have the PAX go through a random field with the fear of what could be in there and be a detriment to the fine HIM. So a new location had to be found. As he finished setting up, he arrived to the Shovel Flags to gladly be met by Toto and LPC. As the rest of the PAX arrived, it was Sparty that was nervous, not the HIM that were still recovering from LPC’s beatdown the morning before.
06:00 Rang and Sparty waited a few seconds to allow the mumblechatter all around him to keep going while he took a deep breath. Finally, “Welcome to F3 Omaha, Anniversary Addition!” Sparty then shared the mission statement and 5 Core Principles. 1st disclaimer was shared that there would not be a Warma-rama today, and he is not a professional, so please modify as necessary. I couple things to keep in mind: “we will be running a lot today, it will be similar to Paradise, so please help pick up the 6. Upon arriving to each cone/station, perform burpees until the 6 is in. If you could grab the cone when we leave each station, it would be greatly appreciated so Sparty doesn’t have to drive around and pick up all the cones again.” Alright, lets Mosey…….
The PAX got started with a nice pace along the path towards the playground, and mumblechatter was spreading like wildfire. Sparty was in the zone for much of the mosey and couldn’t hear what was being said, then he became more aware when he heard one of his favorite discussion, “What’s the best Pizza in Omaha” was asked by someone in the PAX. Sparty was delighted to hear this was the topic of discussion. Some of the names he was hearing made him smile, “Mama’s, Pizza West, Lighthouse….” As the PAX arrived to the first cone, there was an agreement between LPC and Sparty that Pizza West has the best Hawaiian Pizza. The HIM got right to work and started in on Burpees while we waited for the 6. First station was where Tater hosted a 6am beatdown that Sparty will never forget because his heart got high and stayed high the whole workout. It was one of Tater’s best efforts. The 6 arrived….20 Jump Squats and 20 Diamond Merkins. Time to Mosey…….
This was a short mosey to back to the Monkey Bars. Sparty had led previous Saturday day morning beatdowns to this location and you could tell those memories were coming back and there was a nervousness amongst the PAX. No worries Chiclets, no hanging today! Since it was such a short mosey, no need for Burpees. Sparty explained the 2nd station, everyone will take a turn going around the circle of the Monkey Bars, when you finish, hold a plank until the last HIM is done. Immediately, Sparty regretted this decision as he jumped up and realized the monkey bars were soaking wet, it was time for the 3rd audible, “Go halfway around the monkey bars and you’re good.” Mumblechatter about Pizza continued, but Sparty felt very distracted and was just trying to keep it all together. As Slow Pitch finished things out, it was time to Mosey….long mosey to the other playground in the neighborhood.
The PAX made there way through the street, 19 men strong with plenty of Pizzachatter continuing. Tater Tot got excited and giggle out loud, “I can’t wait to see the Backblast on this one.” Here it is Tater! To Sparty’s surprise, as they made it around the corner, Mac’n Cheese was standing there waiting. He smiled as he shared that he had been looking for us for about 10 minutes. We mosey’d on, and the Pizza talk continued. While Sparty loves a good Pizza Debate, he had made the decision that it was time to drop the hammer. “Hey Bubbles, Godfathers is all the way at the bottom of my list for pizza places.” Bubbles was flabbergasted. Sparty continued, “It sucks! It tastes terrible!” Bubbles was hurt. His childhood memories of pizza and been stomped on by Sparty’s vicious claims. And finally the PAX had arrived to the next playground. Station 3, perform 1 round of the Murph (10 Pull ups, 20 Merkins, 30 Air Squats) OYO, and once everyone was done, we would get together for some American Hammers. Khakis and Slow Pitch become impatient and started in on some LBCs while Side Dish finished up. Upon completion of 20 Hammer IC, it was time for the last long Mosey…..
Sparty and Birdman led the way. Scrapper shared that he likes running behind these 2 and would use them as his pacer, but also hated running behind them because their style looks so effortless, yet he could never catch them. Thank you for the kind compliment. It’s cause we’re short it appears that way! Chatter started to spread as many of the PAX had never been on this part of the path. As it started to switch back, the HIM realized they were now by the business district. Sparty led the PAX to the 4th Station, and burpees took place until the 6 was in. Upon their arrival, Sparty tried sounding cleaver and funny. “Oh look at this beautiful wall that is right here.” The veterans dropped their heads as they knew what was about to happen. The newer PAX had questions, which resulted in Sparty needing to demonstrate. During the demonstration, Sparty made his 4th audible in his head, “need to dial back the reps here.” It was time, 6 Donkey Kicks and on the last one you will hold your feet up for Balls to the Walls, until Sparty calls out “Exercise” and we’ll do chicken peckers. Nobody died, and it was time to mosey again…..
Next stop was a couple buildings down where we arrived to many American flags and a giant round flower pot. The energy level of the PAX upon arrival was decreasing. He quickly as the PAX to circle around to perform dips. As Sparty started in, Tater recommended he shout out the count due to the size of the circle. Sparty took this suggestion and shouted out as best he could. After 20 dips, it was 20 Derkins. Legs were really high, and the burn was very deep. It was time to mosey again……
Realizing that time is of the essence at this point, the PAX cut through the parking lot to the next station. There were several cones laid out in a parking lot and the energy and enthusiasm disappeared. The PAX would run laddered sprints up to 20 yards, and upon completion, they would mosey down to the other side of the parking lot where they will find 2 cones and will crawl bear down from one to the other. The
PAX got started and everyone was moving well. Grabbing the cones was really starting to slow Sparty down. The Crawl Bears were going pretty well, but some of the HIM were noticeably starting to slow down. Sparty saw some of the PAX and they looked as though they didn’t want to be standing around, so he said, “we’re good, lets mosey.” But our fearless Nan’tan spoke up and said, “No. We’ll let them finish.” Then cheering for Side Dish to complete his way down the hill took place. While this was the correct decision, Sparty felt that he had let the PAX down by trying to offer for him to quit. Good lesson of leadership was learned by the young man. Side Dish completed with exhaustion on his face. Time to mosey again…..
We made our way to the Methodist building where there was a beautiful hill on the side of the building. When the PAX arrived, Sparty became concerned as the HIM were starting to look annoyed, or ready to be down. He announced what the plan was, “Bear Crawl up the hill to the second cone, lunge to the third cone, and perform 20 Monkey Humpers in cadence.” Roadhouse offered to help and grab the cones, but missed the one at the bottom of the hill which also had a light and about 15 other cones. Sparty made his way back down and grabbed them after he completed his monkey humpers. It was now evident that Side Dish was hurting as Vandelay tended to him. Time was running out, and the PAX was becoming complacent. But we waited and supported Side Dish as he slowly made his way over. This may have been where he splashed merlot for the first time. Sparty is very proud as this would be a milestone. We finished and started to Mosey…..
Sparty made 2 more audibles on the way, he picked up 2 cones that were intended to be for a sprint station, then mosey to the top of a hill rather than the bottom of it. Even though it wasn’t much of a mosey, the PAX arrived very slowly. It was time for the final station before returning to the shovel flags. 20 Hand Release Merkins, then army crawl down the hill. The hill was soaking wet and you could almost slide down it. Bubbles, in anger, got on his feet and made his way to the bottom of the hill and choose to do burpees instead. Which was perfect because if you can’t complete something in a spartan race, your consequence is to perform burpees. Side Dish, Khakis, and Vandelay made their way down the hill with a backwards lunge, and then Sparty let the PAX know, we are done. Let’s return to the shovel flags. Short Mosey….
Rather than doing the traditional Mary, Sparty wanted to recognize that today is also Two Steps one year anniversary. And so, we will acknowledge him as best we can……..Absolution! Two Step introduced this to the PAX at his VQ at the Woodshed (Great VQ Beatdown that morning). And due to time and the PAX lack of enthusiasm, we only performed 2 of these. The PAX circled up for Name-a-rama, and several HIM suggested we move down so the arrival of the 7am group could pull in. We noticed that Side Dish was fertilizing the tree and bush, while Vandelay and Khakis supported him. Out of respect for everyone’s time, we did a count off, and went into announcements:
Tater Tot: Q School will be the next 2 Saturdays. We will be continuing our expansion and growth in leadership. In 2 weeks, Slow Pitch will be taking over as the Site-Q at Paradise – TClaps to Slow Pitch!
Birdman: Prayers for his brother-in-law (I know I got this right) who is having to make a drive back to Florida this weekend by himself. Drive safe big Kevin! Then Birdman shared some very nice words about when Sparty EH’d him back in December. It was very heartfelt, and sincere! Thank you for the kind words and always being so supportive!!
Khakis: He went into the importance of Q-School and the importance of picking up the 6. While he was 100% correct, Sparty started to feel like he could have/should have been better at looking out for the PAX on this morning. Lesson learned.
Sparty: Kandi Run – 10k run with kettlebell swings and burpees, this is in memory of Kandi Baxter who passed away due to ALS. Let him know if you would be interested in joining.
Name-a-rama: Side Dish had rejoined the group and it was time to go around and acknowledge the PAX that had made it through today. We got off to a bang with Bubbles going 2nd and despite being 30 years old, big brother Tater Tot called out “Hate” and immediately realized he had made an embarrassing mistake. We made are way around and Side Dish received a warm clap from the PAX in his support for the day, but not before Khakis made eyes at him and screamed out “Hate!” Sparty then kept the camera going a little too long and didn’t know what to say and said something stupid about the Spartan Challenge. He was laughed at as he deserved, and he finally shut it down.
COT: One year ago today, I showed up to Futurama as Mark, and left as Sparty. Thank you to Tater Tot for EH’ing me. You were always a kind friend that I looked up to and would occasionally get tickets to Jays game from. But since starting F3, I can easily say that you are one of my best friends. Thank you for everything, and I love you Brother! I have EH’d 2 HIM that were here today, Birdman & Mac’n Cheese. When I EH someone, they are either someone that I feel could be impacted by the PAX, or that they could impact the PAX. If you don’t know either of these 2 well, I suggest you start to. They are incredible men. I love you both! In case you haven’t been able to figure this out yet, I got my name “Sparty” from Spartan races. Polaroid had more than enough information to go on to name me, and finally he landed on this as a last-ditch effort. I hated the name at first because of the Y on the end as I thought it seemed childish, but then I started to embrace it. How I came to know the Spartan race is a special point in my life. I was working for a company that had 8 or 9 people go out to Arizona to do the race together, and from the pictures of their event, I had some serious FOMO! I told myself I had to do it the following year. At this point in my life, I hadn’t worked out in 12 years and knew I needed to make some changes in my life if I wanted to be able to complete this type of race. This started me on my fitness journey as I started CrossFit a few weeks later and 2 ½ years later, I’m in the best shape of my life. But there was more than just completing this race for me. While everyone else with me completed the race and was happy, I embraced my M and immediately started to cry (then and now). The deeper meaning for me at this point was that I decided to do this race, and it literally changed my life. I worked really hard to get to that point, and it had started me on a journey to be a better man, and eventually landed me at F3. This is what “Sparty” means to me. It’s more than just a name. It’s a constant reminder of the growth I’ve achieved over the last 2 ½ years. Thank you to all of you for being here today, and making me a better man. I love you guys.
Prayer: LPC was called upon to take us out in prayer, and delivered! Thank you!
Sparty
Aye!

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