Cornhusker Handicap: An Old Dog CAN Learn New Tricks

7/21/20 | Cornhusker Handicap AO | Stinson Park | 72 degrees, rainy

PAX:  Merch, Khakis, Wentworth, Gunner, Gobbler, Two-Step, Scrapper, Icy Hot, Biff, Bubbles, Ponzi, Arm Bar, Tater Tot, Rancid, Tube Socks, Kielbasa, Othello, Smashmouth, TC, Folsom, Spreadsheet, BetaMax, Cyclone, Polaroid, Lucky Charms, Honey Stinger, Bloodshot, Slow Pitch, Brazilian, 

VQ: Frosty

Frosty welcomed the PAX, gave the mission statement and the disclaimer.


SSH x 20 IC

Tappy Taps x 15 IC

Cherry Pickers x 15 IC

Slow, Deliberate Windmills x 15 IC


We did a full-lap mosey around the park, paying close attention to the order of finish.  We did this so the Q could completely screw up counting out a 4-person grinder, leaving us with a 4-team grinder – BETTER YET!


Four teams, Three Stations – Lots of Choices

The Thang was altered last minute on account of the rain. 

Station #1 – THE STAGE

Choice of Jump Rope or Squats AMRAP

Playlist was carefully comprised of songs measuring between 130 and 140 beats per minute – optimal speed for jumping rope.  The playlist was also played through what turned out to be a toy speaker so nobody could really hear it.  

Some PAX jumped rope, some got together and did various squats in sets of 20 until pushed.

The group at station one then ran to station #2


Alternating sets of Merkins and Mary until pushed.  Sets could be 10, 12 or 15 reps

Merkins:  Merkins, Tempo Merkins, Diamond Merkins, Hand Release Merkins, etc

Mary:  Big Boys, Flutter Kicks, Hello Dolly’s, LBC’s, etc 

The group ran and/or Bear Crawled to Station #3


Alternation sets of Dips and Step-Ups until pushed.  Sets could be 10, 12, or 15 reps

We made it through each station twice before Omaha was called!


30 – American Hammers with each PAX counting one

Prayers and Announcements: 

Frosty tried to do announcements several times and then completely blacked out.  Khakis encouraged PAX to bring FNGs to future beatdowns to promote expansion.  Another announcement was made to check the website, Twitter and Slack for new AOs opening soon.


I gave a lot of thought to the COT.  I thought about using the metaphor of jumping rope.  A rope is easy to jump over when it is laying on the ground but becomes more difficult when it starts moving.  I decided against that.  I don’t have pearls of wisdom, but what I have is my experience.  My experience with F3.

I first saw F3 in Chicago’s Millennium Park and I was fascinated by it.  I asked them who they were and told my girlfriend about the weirdo’s hopping and squatting and running on a bridge in the park.  I returned home and saw Slow Pitch’s Facebook post not even a week later.  It sounded similar and so I tried because I knew in my heart I wanted/needed something.  Slow Pitch had lost a bunch of weight right?  Because he was really, really fat before!  

I could barely do anything past Warm-O-Rama.  My head would pound and I couldn’t breathe.  Bloodshot encouraged me.  Folsom encouraged me and basically told me it was ok to workout between posts.  Khakis helped me so much.  I hear his encouraging words when ANY challenge comes my way.  

Then we would get to COT and inspiration would wash over me.  I could have done more, I’d tell myself.  I could have tried harder.  Next time I will push myself more.  

I allowed myself to be vulnerable, be embarrassed, be the six because I wanted what you had and this was the only place to get it.  So I kept posting.  I told Slow Pitch, who has been a miracle in my life, I couldn’t wait until I could just do 50% of a workout.  

I kept coming back and asking for help.  I reached out for help with transportation, cold weather clothes and shin splints.  Then I found myself reaching out and asking for help with race relations and how to be less selfish.  

I’m nowhere near where I want to be but I’m so much further than I would have ever been alone.  I just had to provide some willingness and be vulnerable to a higher power.   You guys are a higher power.  The COT can be a higher power, so can F3 and of course God.  

I met you in Chicago and I was definitely interested.  I reached out to you for help and received more encouragement and support than I would have ever imagined.  I allowed myself to be vulnerable and just be willing to keep coming back and keep asking for help so I could be even 50% the man you men are.  

Thanks for letting me Q.  I Love F3 and I Love all of you..



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