Futurama: “What You Think You Know, Do You Know?”

Thursday, July 16, 2020, 5:30am | Futurama | Omaha’s Memorial Park| 73 degrees, Calm, Partly Cloudy

27 Pax: Sparty, Chiclets (rspct), Lucky Charms, Gunner, Tug Boat, Pony Express, Brazillian, Stella, #, Slow Pitch, Icy Hot, DaVinci (rspct, rspct), Spreadsheet, Buns of Steel, Bogey, Big One, Mac’n’Cheese, Sista-act, Gypsy, Slick, Smashmouth, Othello, Hipster, Sampras, Arnie Ovialles(SP?) (FNG), Shami Jacobs (FNG)

QIC: Two Step

Q self-introduced, Pax welcomed, Mission stated, Five Core Principles Listed, Disclaimer claimed, 2FNG’s welcomed and Mosey initiated.

Mosey: rounded the memorial circle drive and entered the memorial grounds, encircling the flower pot with additional PAX spaced out up the stairs and along the Memorial Wall.

Warm-o-rama: 

Side Straddle Hops x 15IC, 

Wind Mills x 15 IC, 

ALBATROSS WINGS: Start with 20 x Forward Arm Circles, hold, 20 x Backwards Arm Circles, hold, 20 x seal claps, hold, 20 x overhead claps. Everything is on a 4-count.

Copper Head Squats x 20 IC

Mosey: departed memorial grounds and descended the steps facing the primary grassy knoll.

Pre-Thang: 

CIRCLE MERKINS: Pax self-distributed with social distancing-like spacing along the grassy incline between and beyond the two sets of steps. At this point, PAX familiar with beatdowns led by YHC feared an impending Irish Two-Step until failure, but were nonetheless instructed to perform:

Incline Merkins x 10 on count.

Rotate 90° Clockwise – Left arm elevated on incline – Merkins x 10 on count.

Rotate 90° Clockwise – Derkins x 10 on count

Rotate 90° Clockwise – Right arm elevated – Merkins x 10 on count

DANGLING SOMETHINGS: (my name, possibly first ever attempt): Pax distributed along the stair rails, held rail with both hands with torso beneath rail (one arm elevated on rail incline) and pulled chest toward railing x 10 on count, then rotated 180° (opposite arm elevated) and pulled chest toward railing x 10 on count. 

STAIR HOPS AND JUMPS: Pax hopped up a flight of stairs on one leg, then down the flight on same leg, then switched legs and repeated, then jumped both feet up and down the flight.

CIRCLE MERKINS: repeated as above.

(QIC directed Dangling Somethings and Stair Hops and Jumps because they are effective exercises, but also just because he wanted to give PAX a moment to rest their poor little pecs and triceps before the second round of Circle Merkins. Alas, the rest did not suffice for many, led by Slow Pitch, who made QIC readily aware of the stupidity of the second round in the moment and thereafter upon conclusion of the beatdown. You’re welcome!)  

The Thang:

Three Group Grinder: PAX counted and divided into three groups. A pair of cones with an attached list of exercises were placed on the wall of the platform at the top of the knoll and a second pair and list were placed at the bottom of the grassy knoll approximately half-way from the platform to Dodge Street. A group was positioned at each pair of cones, performing each listed exercise AMRAP until being pushed by the third group running between the groups. 

TOP EXERCISES, AMRAP as a group unless specified until pushed: 

Bobby Hurleys 

Burpees OYO

Step Ups

Hold People’s Chair along wall

BOTTOM EXERCISES: 

Flutter Kicks

Big Boys

Freddy Mercuries

Hold Plank

At 6:03am OMAHA was called on the thang and PAX were instructed to circle up by the shovel flags by the monument circle-drive. At this point, some of the PAX were wondering when the IRISH TWO STEPS would be administered. Others anticipated Name-o-rama. But they all discovered they were wrong when the post-thang was announced.

Post Thang: 

FAILURE TO LAUNCH X 10 reps: PAX held air-chair 90° knee bend x 10 count followed by jump tuck.

Name-o-rama was completed by 27 PAX. 

FNG Arnie Ovailles(SP?) became KC and Shami Jacobs became Syrup.

Announcements: Starfish Expansion – 5 new AO’s will be opened by the end of the month.

Prayer Requests: Spreadsheet’s job interview later same-day.

COT:

When my post-graduate formal professional training concluded in 2006, I left the ivory tower filled with the knowledge of my training and board exam preparation, the experience of six years of clinical practice and the wisdom imparted from the experience of one of the most respected groups of faculty in my field. The relocation of my family and transition to a new practice paused my clinical work for a couple months, but I embarked on my new career with the assumption that I was filled with all of the knowledge I would ever need. 

So, when one of my new partners asked me how I was dealing with Nephrogenic Systemic Fibrosis, I minimized his concern. I had never heard of it, and since we didn’t care about it through all of my experience in training, I foolishly assumed it just wasn’t something he needed to be worrying about. 

Well, turns out that also in 2006, a Danish nephrologist reported a series of patients with kidney failure who had undergone MRI with contrast had developed a bizarre systemic fibrosing disease. It was miserable, patients were immobilized and in burning pain, and some of them asked to end their lives. 

Over time, and through more study, the association of that disease with a drug we give for MRI scans was made clear. Because of this, a simple change was made in the practice of my field and now that horrible disease is virtually non-existent. Still, I am continually reminded of how much I had to learn right when I thought I knew it all.

These are dynamic times for our world. COVID and Black Lives Matter and a host of other issues are challenging the way many of us have thought the world was supposed to work. Things we’d never heard of before are proving to be more important than we could’ve dreamed. I believe we all need to be encouraged to keep an open-mind, to study and be willing to accept that what we might have once thought was fundamental fact, could actually have been foolish. In the end, if we are willing, sometimes a very simple change can eliminate a very big problem. 

Aye,

Two Step

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