The Oracle Backblast: Ponzi Games

The Oracle AO | Boystown | 02/01/20 | 27°

PAX: Pothole, Specimen, Khakis (respect!), Tonight Show, Honey Stinger (bzzzzz), Betamax, Slow Roast, Honey Badger, Chiclets (respect!), A Bomb, Good Life, Tugboat (toot toot!), Balboa, Theodore Calvin (TC – respect!), Reba, Othello, Vandelay, Room Service

Q: Ponzi

Ponzi gave an extremely warm welcome to the 18 PAX who chose to come out and spend their Saturday at The Oracle. F3 mission and disclaimer were given. PAX were told if they needed reminded of the 5 core principles, text Tater Tot. He knows them well. Today, PAX were going to focus on PONZI’s 5 Core Principles….

PONZI’S 5 CORE PRINCIPLES FOR THE PAX:

  1. SHUT UP & do exactly what I say with ZERO back talk.
  2. Have fun – may seem counter intuitive to #1 but it’s not. PAX chose to come out on a Saturday morning in the cold, winter…might as well enjoy it and have a good time!
  3. Mumblechatter is encouraged, especially if directed at Slow Roast, Tonight Show, and TC.
  4. A snowball fight is allowed to breakout at any point during the workout BUT the PAX who intends to start it must yell, “I LOVE PONZI!” for the fight to begin (A rule that Specimen broke multiple times that day). And all snowball fights will end with 5 burpees.
  5. Pooping is allowed.

Mosey to the football field!

Warm-a-Rama:

  • SSH into Redbulls into SSH into Redbulls – 50 IC
  • Plank Jacks 15 IC
  • Apparently the PAX misunderstood the snowball fight rules as Ponzi was unexpectedly pounded with ice chunks while all other PAX remained unscathed. This would remain a theme throughout the beatdown. It was more of a frozen-ice-stoning than snowball fight. Ponzi severely underestimated the strong desire all PAX would have to throw iceballs at him and only him. Lesson learned.
  • Mountain Climbers – 15 IC
  • Pickle Pushers – 15 IC
  • Werewolves – Ponzi noticed there were some old PAX with crappy backs in attendance today, so this exercise was deemed extra important to prep for what lie ahead.
  • Tappy Taps & Tater Taps – 10 IC each
  • Ponzi Beta Bars – An exercise idea created from an Armbar beatdown, then Betamax, and now Ponzi. Basically one-legged Sun Gods with hands up or down, that ends with a karate kick on each 4 count & a switch to the other leg. i.e. 1-2-3….hi-yah kick! Switch to the other leg.
  • Another Frozen Ponzi Stoning took place somewhere in there. Realllll cool everyone.

Mosey to back parking lot.

Along the way we almost picked up 3 FNGs who ran with the group for 30 seconds, then continued off. It may have been Ponzi’s warning that things were about to get a little…weird…

Ponzi’s Partner Games:

*PAX were told to partner up with someone of similar fitness level and size, if possible.

Game 1:

  • Bear Crawl Shoulder Taps – 3 rounds. Best of 3. Goal was to tap your partner’s shoulder more than you get tapped while both being in a bear crawl position, facing each other. 1st round lasted a minute and was too long. Following rounds were cut to 30 seconds.
  • PAX were surprisingly winded after this & Slow Roast complained more than usual. Ponzi = happy.
  • 25 merkins were done between rounds 1 & 2.

Game 2:

  • Inside of the Knee Taps – 3 rounds. Best of 3. Goal is to tap inside part of your partner’s knee more than you get tapped.

Highlights of Game 2:

  • Othello looking like he was going to die after squaring off against Khakis in some epic battles
  • Tugboat lying on the ground, extending an arm up to Betamax to assist him up, Betamax helping him up, only to IMMEDIATELY be tapped on the inner knee a few times by Tugboat….well played.
  • Specimen continued lobbing ice chunks at Ponzi without saying the correct phrase of “I LOVE PONZI”. PAX subsequently punished with 5 burpees.

End of Games, for now. PAX told to stay in their partners for some odd exercises…

Partner Exercises:

  • Partner planks – PAX get in plank position, side-by-side, place middle arms on each other’s backs, outside arms stay in plank position. PAX basically perform a group plank with one arm each. Chiclets requested one merkin between each 10 count. BRILLIANT idea! Ponzi immediately adopted the proposal. 40 count was held plus 4-5 merkins thrown in there.
  • Reba requested PAX even it out and get one more partner plank in with the opposite arm this time. Ponzi obliged. What a nice guy.
  • Partner Leg Presses – One PAX lays flat on ground, knees to their chest, other PAX puts their body weight and chest on partner’s feet. PAX on the ground performs leg press. 30 seconds then swtich.
  • Big Boys + Mountain Climbers – One partner performs Big Boys while the other holds his feet and performs Mountain Climbers. 30 seconds then switch.
  • More Big Boys + Merkin + Partner Clap Same as previous exercise except a merkin is performed and partners clap opposite hands at the top of each exercise.

Game 3:

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (No you can’t….Yes I can!)

  • PAX were split into two groups. This was a much harder task to coordinate than anticipated. After much mumblechatter, the sides were finally even.
  • PAX continued to ruin the fun of the snowball game and direct all their fury at Ponzi. The worst offender was Othello, who attempted to assault Ponzi with a GLACIER thrown at his head. Luckily, Othello is a self-described “theater kid” and Ponzi was able to dodge said glacier. By the grace of God and terrible throwing accuracy no ambulances were called or concussions today.
  • Rules: One group holds plank or low sumo squat position (position determined & announced by Ponzi before start of the round) while the other performs an exercise. Alternate. First group now holds position while other group performs same number of reps. Alternate again. Round 2 starts and reps are increased by 5 now. Game continues until one team has 3 guys drop out/quit.
  • Round 1 – Merkins. Starting group would do 5 merkins while other group held a plank. Other group then does 5 merkins while starting group holds plank. Next round was 10, 15, 20, 25. Made it to 25 merkins before one group had 3 guys dropout.
  • Round 2 – Monkey Humpers. Made it to 20 Monkey Humpers IC before one group had 3 guys dropout.
  • Round 3 – Carolina Dry Docks – Made it to 25 before one group had 3 guys dropout.

Game Over. 20 Bobby Hurleys called then PAX moseyed to the shovel flags.

6 MoM:

  • Van Gohdas – 10 IC each side
  • Specimen FINALLY initiated a Snowball fight correctly by saying “I LOVE PONZI”. No PAX followed suit and most seemed upset about the 5 burpees they were now required to complete. Way to go Specimen!
  • Gas Pumpers – 20 IC, slowed down at the halfway mark, then hold the boat position for a 10 count at the end.
  • American Hammers – 25 IC, led by Slow Roast for bringing the most mumblechatter on the day.

COT:

  • Name-a-Rama
  • Announcements:
    • First Friday Lunch at Flagship Commons on 2/7/20, 11am-1pm.
    • “Bring Your M & Tap That” Blood Drive on Friday, 2/28/20. Reach out to Ponzi or Selleck to sign up. Google sheet will be put out on Slack and maybe email soon.
    • Bible Study starting Tuesday, 2/4/20 at 4:45am at Coram Deo. See Plague or Greek Freak for details. Or check Slack. Using YouVersion App.
  • Prayer Requests:
    • Lots of Bruiser PAX currently. Keep them in your prayers & reach out too.
    • Trademark’s Mom
    • Stinger & Badger’s Mom
    • Cyclone & his family.
    • Probably missing a few more needs here….sorry.
  • Ended with a brief reminder to PAX to find one person to encourage today. I took my own advice and gave T Claps to my brother, Slow Roast, on his one year F3Omaha Anniversary. Baby Grand & I used to tell other PAX we would NEVER get our other brother out to a workout. We were serious too. One year later and Slow Roast is accelerating, going to about 4 workouts/wk, and credits F3 with changing his life and bringing friends into his life he previously didn’t have.
  • I told the PAX that Slow Roast started coming b/c of me & Baby Grand but he stays b/c of the PAX, the 2nd F, not me or Baby Grand. We only workout with him once a week, if that sometimes.
  • Ended by encouraging guys to not give up on EH’ing men they think will never come out. Keep at it. We know how much it can change just one guys’ life. Slow Roast taught me that. Couldn’t be more proud of him and how he’s accelerating.

***Closed us out with a prayer then shared Ice Cream for Breakfast with the PAX as it was NATIONAL ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST DAY!

Thanks, as always, to all the PAX for doing the weird ideas I came up with today. I love working out and laughing with you guys!

Aye!

Ponzi

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