On Wednesday, September 18 in Omaha, NE – Tater Tot, Bubbles and Slow Pitch created what would be a celebratory beatdown at Paradise Island on a warm and soupy morning. 21 PAX gathered in the well-lit parking lot of Regency and chatted about God only knows what until Tater Tot rudely interrupted the group for introductions. Tater Tot welcomed the FNG, tossed out our mission, mentioned the genuine excitement of his one year in F3 and we were off!
PAX: FDIC, White Claw, Jean Claude, Hard Hat, Gunner, Polaroid, Stones, Wait Time, Tonight Show, Pele (FNG!), Mufasa, Sasquash, Clorox (Hate!), Blue Suede, Khakis (Respect!), Room Service, Blue Chip, Lowman, Bubbles (Hate!), Slow Pitch and Tater Tot.
Warm a rama – After a short mosey to a dark parking lot Slow Pitch asked the PAX to get tight, tight, tight to start Warm a rama. It took the shape of an oval but worked. Before we knew it, we were bear crawling and crawl bearing side to side already breaking a sweat. Cool Slow Pitch. Bubbles jumped in for two much more appropriate exercises followed by the famous/not famous Tater Tot 21’s. The Rider brothers had already lost control of the group and would take a true beatdown to try and regain direction.
Bear Crawl in circle (Slow Pitch)
Crawl Bear in circle (Slow Pitch)
Tater Taps (Bubbles)
Not sure on the one after Tater Taps… (Bubbles)
21’s (Tater Tot) – This is where you do side straddle hops in cadence to 6 and then silent cadence to 21. If all of the PAX end on 21 there are no additional exercises. The cadence was pure, the rhythm was set, 19, 20, 21! And then I look at Slow Pitch and his is just barreling right through 22, 23, 24…. Welp, five Monkey Jumpers was punishment and we were off led by Bubbles
The Thang – 365 (Each Site was to be led by a Rider brother and could pick any set of exercises as long as it totalled 100)
Bubbles led us on a .60 mile run to the Regency Tennis Court Club where he was eager to punish the crap out of us with burpees and merkins. It sounded simple enough but turned out to be a real burner.
4 Burpees before each merkin set
16 regular merkins, 16 diamond merkins, 16 military merkins, 16 werkins, 16 merkins
Slow Pitch then took us on a .70 mile run up Regency Parkway and eventually to a fully flowering planter. No doubt there were some challenges on the way there such as just getting up the hill, not getting lost and being attacked by a man-eating owl. Yes, it’s true. Tater Tot was about airlifted by owl FNG “Hooty” as if it was some sort of Harry Potter shiznit. Wait Time told Tater that he understood where the owl was coming from as Tot is about the size of a mouse. Easy mistake. Tater Tot was not amused….
Slow Pitch “Larry Bird” Exercises
33 jump ups to planter – Cool bud. About wiped out everyone’s shins on 30-33…
33 single leg squats – great follow up from the jump ups….
33 Sumo Squats – Perhaps throw in an arm exercise dude…oh wait, Bubbles already destroyed us.
Tater Tot was now up against the clock. He gathered the PAX and we moved quickly back down the hill only to be greeted by another hill…. The PAX used the basic concept of gravity to apply pain to otherwise normal excercises
Tater Tot Exercises –
33 Downhill Mountain Climbers
33 LBC’s sitting on the up hill
“Omaha” was called in order to get back to the flags and finish name-o-rama and COT. Be wait!! Wasn’t is called?… Bubbles was determined to get our reps to 365 and I fully appreciated that so we quickly discussed doing American Hammer Mary in single cadence to 98/99.
Mary – What looked like the start of count off emmediately turned into a “Psych!” call and the American Hammer was announced. Some PAX counted to 10 and then we kept adding to 99. It wasn’t smooth or pretty or together or anything that was structured in cadence but by golly we got there. 365! Omaha…
Nama-O-Rama – After going around in a circle with Bubbles, Slow Pitch and Tater Tot all giving first pounds to the PAX we then introduced Ben Larsen and apparently we let him off the hook with naming him Pele… Some of the pressure came from off site as the Curse EH’d him and had that in his back pocket. It was a soft moved by Tater Tot but he was in a good mood so….
Friday at Vala’s Pumpkin Patch
Saturday 2.0 Workout
COT – Bubbles said some very kind words to Tater Tot about his relationship with Bubbles and the PAX and at that moment a deeper connection was made with brother. Thank you Bubbles…
After holding back tears, Tater Tot prepared a poem (listed below…) because he felt as if it might serve better for the PAX then to listen to a long ramble that would surely turn boring. At this point no one had any idea what was to come next… Following the poem Tater Tot reiterated how important it is for the new PAX to keep coming and for the veterans to keep leading. Wait Time took us out in prayer in style like the true HIM that he is.
I love all of you and can’t thank you enough for allowing me to be a part of F3 and leading. Looking forward a year from now as 750 will be the real deal….
Tater Tot – Aye!
F3 – 365
September fifteenth two thousand eighteen,
Two days and a year before this F3 thing
I was puking sideways just outside of Twin Peaks,
The hangover was real, my future felt weak
The sadness was daily, the mirror filled with shame,
Who was that man looking so lonely, so lame
But wait, there was light, I heard a voice
Big One could see straight through me and gave me a choice
“Yo Adrian, you should try this workout thing I am doing”,
And right then, the start of Tater Tot began brewing.
The oven turned on, the heat grew stronger,
The path to true friendships would wait no longer
So there I was on September seventeen,
Scared crapless, next to random dudes looking so lean
There was Wait Time, Tonight Show, No Doze and Ponzi,
I was shaking with nerves as they stood there so calmly.
And who the hell is Selleck, Ethanol, Stinger and Folsom?
It didn’t matter, their greeting was genuine, loving and wholesome.
Off we went, I don’t remember much
But my jogging tee party with The Plague turned out to be clutch.
We talked Family and God and real-life stuff,
The connection was made even though it was rough
Fast forward a year, 365 short days,
Those same men still with us, no matter life’s craze
Each journey and path, so different so hard,
But one thing in common, they have let down their guard
To those that have come after my first day,
I can’t thank you enough and pray that you stay
Be open and true to yourself and others,
And to be so lucky to share this with your brothers
To Big One and Wait Time, you salty HIM’s,
You lead with such grace and then bury our limbs
To Bubbles and Slow Pitch, what can I say?
We can laugh about anything, especially flatulence spray.
If we don’t look in the mirror and be honest with our self,
This path we are on should just sit on a shelf
So This F3 thing, it’s real, it’s true
And to the next guy to Q monkey jumpers, I say, F you.